Do you want to get your ex girlfriend back desperately? I know the endless day and night of begging and pleading for a second chance hasn’t worked. But don’t despair, it’s too early to give up and you still have a great shot at winning her back. I know you are hurting a lot, but that’s no reason to give up on the love of your life.
Normally, you would be much more methodical about solving problems, but when love is involved emotions get in the way and is hard to think clearly. You don’t realize it yet, but you have all the information you need to get your ex girlfriend back. Think about it, you already know your ex so well. You know what she likes and dislikes. You know her strengths and her weaknesses. You know what makes her happy and what makes her sad. Imagine having the same information about a stranger and how easy it would be to befriend them or to seduce them with it. You have an enormous advantage over any guy that might challenge you for her.
So without further ado, let’s talk about the “Three Easy Steps to Get My Ex girlfriend Back”:
you watch this video
Step One – Enjoy your life. By far, one of the most common causes of breakups is boredom. The repetitiveness of activities of a couple having been together for a long time, it creates predictability which you can do without. Try enjoying your single life for as long as it lasts, take up a new hobby, volunteer for a charity, take that trip you’ve been postponing forever, and make some new friends. Just by simply learning to enjoy your life, you would have gained a new perspective of life and you would have also developed some new routines that could impress your ex girlfriend. Your ex girlfriend will realize you aren’t the boring person she decided to leave and this will spark interest.
Forget that she ever existed – Well, at least for a while, you must completely ignore of her existence. You see, the person who ends a relationship always sleeps better at nights not only for the obvious reasons, but mainly because this person fully understands that she can get you back anytime she wants to. Erase that comforting thought she’s been holding onto by completely cutting off contact with her. It’s in our nature to want things that are beyond our reach and your sudden disinterest in her will trigger this emotion in her. Rest assured, she will be filled with insecurities and the ceasing of your phone calls will drive her completely mad.
The final nail in the coffin – It may be tempting to reassure her that you still love her at this point, but this is no time to relax the psychological attack. When you see your ex again, and by the way she will most likely make this meeting happen, make sure she feels that you are completely uninterested. Explain to her how great your life has been since the breakup and how you have found a new meaning of life. Also, don’t forget to use your knowledge about her at this point, you know of her weaknesses better than anyone. Is she sensitive about her weight? If so, you let her know her looks are not up to your standards. The key is to hit her where it hurts the most.
We are not done just yet, so pay close attention to this. There is a plan that will seriously enhance your chances to get your ex girlfriend back in no time. Take the next 5 minutes to watch this video. Click here!
So I kind of brought this on myself and I have no idea what to do about it. Me and my girlfriend broke up 3 months after we started dating. We are both in our early twenties and she’s a year older than me. We had a long distance relationship and I had to drive 6 hours every weekend to go see her. She came to my place too but I did most of the traveling. One time I called her at night before going to bed as I usually do and she didn’t answer her phone. I kept on calling her a few times and couple of hours later her roommate answered and she told me that my girlfriend went to drink with her friends. I wasn’t happy that she didn’t answer my calls but it wasn’t a big deal until I found out one of the people drinking with her was this guy who’s been trying to get her number for weeks. I got a hold of her at something like 4am and I was really mad as hell. I demanded for her to go home and I let her know that I was not happy about the company she was keeping. She fired back by telling me that I didn’t have any rights to tell her what to do and that she would have never cheated on me. She hung up on me and maybe I should have left it there but I called her back. I grilled her again about the guy and to my surprise she broke up with me right there and then. I now know she didn’t cheat on me with that guy and I also know I should have been more trusting of her. It was the first time I got into a long distance relationship and it wasn’t easy for me to control my feelings when I found out that my girlfriend was drinking with the guy that was hitting on her for weeks. Add that to the fact that she didn’t answer my calls for hours and I was paranoid as hell. I never acted this way to my other ex girlfriends and I actually don’t like to tie up my girlfriends because we happen to be in a relationship. I admit that I acted like a jerk jealous bf but that’s not my usual self. I tried calling my ex, email her, text her, and she’s not having any of that. I want her back and I’m ready to trust her more from now on. I just wasn’t used to the feelings you get when you are in a long distance relationship. Exbackcoach how do I get her back? Do I even have a chance at winning her back?
Hello James,
Three months is a short time for a relationship to mature and that’s especially true when it comes to long distance relationships. If she knew you any better, she wouldn’t have been as freaked out by your tirade, but unfortunately at that stage of your relationship, it was enough for her to dump you.
Three months in a long distance relationship would mean that at most, you must have seen her a dozen times. That’s not enough to start building the sort of trust that keeps couples together even through the roughest of the times. I’m trying to put this as gently as I can, but at the moment, she probably thinks you are a jealous freak. That’s the bad news. However, the good news is that depending on what you do from this point on, you can change her opinion about you and maybe you’ll even get her back.
The first thing you want to do is to back off. That means you don’t call her, you don’t text her, email her, or write her a letter. You have to give her some time and make sure she understands that you won’t go psycho on her because you can’t reach her. You have to give her all the indication that your last tirade was out of your character and for you to do that when she doesn’t allow you to contact her, is by leaving her alone.
You have been trying to reach her since the break up, so I think it’s necessary that you give her at least a month and maybe two months if you can hold out that long. That should be enough for her anger to subside and for her to realize that you are not a psycho ex boyfriend. When that month or two is up, I want you to send her a text and I want the message to be a simple apology and nothing else.
I want you to tell me what her response was after sending her the text and I will tell you what to do depending on how she responds. In the unlikely event that she calls you after the text, be smart about it and don’t think that she’s calling you to take you back. Be nice, civil, and apologize to her again. Keep the call brief and end the call by letting her know that you are happy to have had the chance to apologize to her. That’s it for now. I’ll wait for your progress report in a few weeks time.
I cheated on my girlfriend and got caught. She left me as soon as she found out. It’s not like I’m a serial cheater. I’m a healthy, sexually active young man and away on business trips a lot. I had a moment of weakness but I thought I was safe because I thought there was no way she was gonna find out and I wasn’t gonna cheat on her again.
But long story short, she found out about the one night stand and she wouldn’t even hear me out. I tried to lie about it but I think it backfired because she knew for sure it happened and dishonesty on top of infidelity didn’t sit well with her.
I mean, I can’t be the only guy who ever cheated on his girlfriend, right? I gave her my word that it would never happen again. Nothing worked. What do I do to get my girlfriend back?
Hello John,
You have a way of downplaying your wrongdoings and I think that’s the first thing you should work on. Take a moment and carefully read what you have written here. Every sentence is written with the full intension of pardoning yourself and I don’t sense any indication of contrition.
So you are a young, healthy, and sexually active male. Should that make it OK for you cheat? You also happen to mention, “I can’t be the only boyfriend to ever cheat on his girlfriend?” So should that fact make your action any less hurting than it is?
I’m sorry, but there’s no way to explain this to you but to be blunt about it. You want your ex girlfriend back? Then first learn to take responsibility for your actions. I would never help anyone with your attitude to get his girlfriend back. Contact me back only after you understood this concept, if not, just move on please.
I don’t know about you but I don’t think I’m downplaying my wrongdoings.
We already dealt with it is my point. It’s not that I am pardoning myself about cheating on my girlfriend but it’s that we dealt with it. I apologized. I bought her some impressive gifts to let her know I meant it. Most of my friends HAVE in fact cheated on their girlfriends regardless of whether or not they found out about it. I’m not proud I did it but it did happen and I tried to make it up to her and promised her it will never happen. I did everything possible just short of turning the clock back. I don’t think it’s exaggerating when I say most of us guys know what it’s like to cheat on the girlfriend whether they meant to or not. It’s like force of nature almost. I think I am realistic, not avoiding responsibilities.
Hello John,
I wasn’t even going to reply to you after your last message, but I’ll try to be open-minded about this and I’ll give one more shot to try to help you out. It is true that infidelity is common in this day and age, but that doesn’t make it any less hurting for the person who’s getting cheated on. I’ll say this again, the problem is that you try so hard to downplay your wrongdoing that you end up justifying it and I could only imagine how mad your ex girlfriend would have gotten for that.
Ask yourself this question. How sincere do you think your apologies were to her when you think that most men cheat all the time and that cheating is like force of nature? For god sakes you say you bought “her impressive gifts” to let her know that your apologies were for real. Do you get my drift John? It doesn’t matter that all your friends cheat on their girlfriend. In fact, it shouldn’t matter if 99 percent of men cheated on their girlfriends. This is about the trust between you and your ex girlfriend, how you feel about her and what you do to her should have nothing to do with the actions of others.
You talk about business trips, so I assume that you are older than 20 years old. At your age, I don’t know that it’s possible to have a change in philosophy about love and responsibilities, but I sincerely hope that you will learn to see things differently. That’s all from me John. Good luck to you.
I don’t know how to properly win back my ex girlfriend.. Who I love with everything I have.
We were together for 4 years, and didn’t even have a real full on arguement after about 6 months..
She moved in with me after 10months of being together.. We were madly in love where we didn’t care about anything in the world.. Until the latter stages of last year I became depressed and massively stressed out because unfortunately I lost my job.. And I had that job for 3 years and I loved and enjoyed doing it.. And it really got me in the dumps, and I’m not very good at dealing with negative emotions.. So obviously I became increasingly depressed, and for a about 2/3 months I took everything out on her and looking back at it I have so much regret of how I treated her, and I fully take 100% responsibility for my poor actions.. We broke up end of January begining of February.. We didn’t speak officially say to eachother this is catorigally ” over ” – my grandma got rushed to hospital whilst she was staying at her mums house and we were still together at this point.. And she knew about this incident that occured to my grandma.. She asked me if she could come home, and I said can you come back maybe in a couple of days?! And she said yes that’s ok – so a couple of days went past and she didn’t come home ever since.. So I asked her if she was coming home, and because of my depression she said all of my depression has made her feel down.. And she said she can’t come home, so she didn’t say in words ” it’s over ” leave me alone or anything she has never said that.. So I left it.. And she texted me a week later.. Can you ring me, and we can talk like we used to.. But I stupidly ignored it due to my depression and got on with the evening with my friends.. After that we didn’t speak properly for a few more days after that, and I asked her if she wanted to come home not thinking clearly that it’s been a few days after her text.. She said basically she can’t come back to the flat due to my depression and the bad memories what my depression created.. That’s when it hit home that she really was unhappy with the way things were.. So after that moment I didn’t stop texting her.. Stating what she meant to me, and how much I love her.. Then about 2 weeks later.. I find out she has a new boyfriend.. I didn’t react well.. But.. I calmed down immediately reliasing tuis anger won’t help this situation.. So I deleted her out of my life temporarily.. From my social networking site facebook and basically didn’t text/call/email her since I found out about the new guy.. I decided to have some ” me ” time.. Obviously finding that out tore my heart strings out and pretty much killed me, but I decided to try and blank it
out and move on.. First couple of weeks were hard.. Then it gradually got easier.. Then about approx between 3/4 weeks without talking at all she contacted me.. Saying she misses me, and she wanted to talk.. The texts were very simple and snappy, I was angry with her but didn’t show it.. But we have talked practically everyday since then.. And she has said she misses me and at times says she loves me still.. Because she left very immediately her things are still at my flat.. But she never asks for them back.. I have tried to organise a day to take her stuff back but whenever the subject comes up she tries to make excuses up for me to do it another day and this has been going on for ages.. And to this very day her stuff is still there.. Recently we have spoke on the phone for the very first time since her departure from our flat.. She was asking really deep questions, which plucked my heart strings a little.. But I kept strong and was honest and open.. And so was she with her feelings.. She told me she has changed due to her being depressed about us.. But I am now not depressed and I feel like the guy she first met.. She told me since our break up she is now smoking cannibis with her new boyfriend and she never really smoked before due to her asthma.. She has said she has slept with 7 other men and has cheated on her current boyfriend twice, and she had never cheated on me. And various other out of character things that she would never done when she was with me. She told me on the phone, she misses everything we do together, our sex, our silliness, our
jokes, and everything we do together.. She says she hates it with her new boyfriend as he doesn’t know anything about her? And loves it that I know every last thing about her.. When she told me, the old me would of gone potty over this.. But I stayed cool and calm and just accepted this at first hand. After the conversation I was very shocked at her misguided
behaviour, and had to think about things. But I just said to myself I love her that much, I can’t see her do this to herself because it’s killing and in hugely worried about her welfare and everything. After the chat on the phone.. We spoke 2 days later, she said her mums house will be free, and maybe we should spend some time together? I said possibly let’s see what happens?! And she was fine with that.. But then we spoke the next day and she said her current boyfriend is at her mums house.. Like I said unexpected news of the old me would of gone biserk and flew off the handle but again i was focused on her and staying calm.. I was fine about it and we just spoke generally.. Then Friday came.. And she texted out of the blue and said I can’t stand this anymore with him (the current boyfriend) I want to see you, what do you want to do.. Come to
mine or shall i come to yours?! I said come to mine as I live in a town and she lives in a hamlet with not alot of entertainment.. And apparently during her arguement with her current boyfriend she revealed about cheating on him twice and he went biserk and threw her against a wall.. Threated to set fire to her mums house and he stabbed a pen into his arm.. Walked away and didn’t return and went home.. She rang me immediately stating he went crazy, and he mental health issues (shcizophrenia) so I calmed her down, and she just said she wanted to be with me.. I just said you
come in your own time.. She appreciated me being there for her and asked me what times are suitable to be coming to mine? I said 8:30pm.. So I was happy about this and she said she will contact me on the way there to let me know when she will be arriving in my home town.. So 9:30isb strikes and she texts me to say I’m at the train station come and get me.. So I arrived at the train station.. And my innital reaction to myself was ” shock ” she’s here in front of me, bloody hell! My heart was pumping like it was our first date.. She seemed
really happy to see me.. And she gave me a long cuddle to greet me.. We walked about 5mins down the road and all she did was stare at me and smile in a flirtatious way.. It felt like the first few times we met and it felt special.. But I could tell at the same time she was generally deeply unhappy with her life.. Which was hard for me to take on
board because it upsets me seeing the one and only person I truly love having the worst possible feeling about
life.. We were walking towards my flat.. And things were very quiet her side of things, and I asked her, are you ok, you seem miles away? And she said I’m so depressed Ben and conversation isn’t great at the moment as in I’m not open and me anymore.. So I just said I will try and change that for you, to show I’m there for her, and that everything will be ok in a way of reassuring her.. That started to give her abit of confidence as it seems like she has none of t
it.. We approached sainsbury a supermarket and she wanted some things to eat and we suggested about buying some wine as she had a hard day with her current boyfriend and I just wanted to cheer her up.. We brought our stuff and walked to the flat.. We approached the flat and we walked down the garden path, she stated this feels so strange.. And I understood how she felt as it was weird how fast everything was.. So we got inside and it felt like she was there and she hadn’t been away not in a bad way, just in the sense of the way she went straight to our old bedroom and did what she normally did put her handbag etc in there, and went to the kitchen to make food & drink, my honest reaction to myself was OMG.. This feels like de ja vu in the way of we have had a holiday and we are back to our native country.. It was nice but very surreal! So we relaxed in the living room, sat down and watched what we used to watch
music television as she loves her music and I like to spoil her and let her watch what she likes and that always brings an automatic interest if she likes it.. So she was flicking through the channels, whilst I was making
conversation and we were casually chatting, mainly small talk and everything.. Her boyfriend was enthusiatically calling all the time at this point.. He was asking lots of questions.. And then the conversation stopped and she turned round to me and said we gave split up.. She didn’t seem too upset by earliers arguement or the break up.. So we just spoke about things.. Then she said can we have a proper cuddle.. I said yes.. And we did and we just resumed conversation.. Then she said can we kiss.. I said yes.. And we had a really “sexy, passionate kiss” and we seemed really happy and again resumed conversation.. Then a few minutes later.. She said shall we have sex, and I said yes.. So she stood in front of me, and slowly undressed herself.. And I assisted her.. And then I undressed myself.. And when I was naked, she
climbed on top of me and passionately kissed me.. And had her hands on my chest and it felt like ” us ” again and it felt really special like it used to be.. So we had sex, it lasted a little while and all of a sudden she starts crying, so my natural concern was her and why she was feeling like this.. She said she’s really depressed and has outbursts like this frequently.. The old me would of got angry but I was generally saddened by what i was seeing.. So I just
comforted her and calmed her down.. She calmed down and I said why don’t you
take your make up off and we will relax and I will massage your feet and pamper you as I knew she loves this.. So she did and I continued to comfort her whilst getting ready for bed.. It was all relaxed again and I was massaging her feet as I know she loves this and she knows how much I live doing it for her and how much I love her size 3UK feet! So that made her happy that I was giving her body TLC.. And then we went to bed.. She had work at 8:30am the next day so she had to be up for that.. Then 5:30pm came and she returned home.. And she was on the phone to her ex boyfriend.. And she told him she was going that evening obviously not knowing she was with me.. And I could tell she was eventually getting annoyed with the call.. And sooner enough the call ended.. She didn’t seen at all fazed by it, and we were
chatting and then I went to buy her dinner a chinese.. She ate that and we chatted more and massaged her feet as she likes her body to have attetion after a long days work, she said I miss all this.. And everything seemed relaxed and happy.. So we decided we wanted to go out to the town and have a couple of bottles of wine.. So we both got ready.. And we had a bottle of wine whilst were doing that.. She joked with me and said you better not drink too much as she knows what I’m like sometimes drinking.. We were nearly ready and she was made right up and she looked absolutely beautiful and gorgeous, and to me she was the sexiest, most stunning girl I have ever layed eyes on.. And she was asking me what outfit to wear, as she knows I love fashion and I generally know what I’m talking about so that made me feel good.. And she
complimented me and said you have always had good fashion sense and said I look good and she said you
have much better taste than my ex as in clothes and giving tips out.. So we left the flat and went to this bar/club where we used to always go together at least 2 weeks out of 4 of the month.. When we arrived that jerked a few memories as well but we got through it after 30mins.. We chatted, flirted and joked like old times, but after a couple
of hours there I started to feel the effects of the alcohol, they weren’t negative vibes or anything but I started to get too close and to rush things.. I think where having thing was very glamourous as in what she was looking like and what she was wearing I got carried away slightly.. She was honest and said this is too fast.. And I accepted it and we danced and had fun for the remainer of the time there.. We left at about 12:30am – 1:00am and went to this 24hour petrol garage and brought some things, and we were really messing around in there like we used to.. For some reason we used to always mess around in shops and just be silly and it was all fun, we were both laughing and smiling like we had no care in the world.. We returned to the flat and we sat down.. And we were flirting and acting up sexually to one another.. We nearly did more things.. But her phone rang and it was her ex boyfriend.. And then that
kind of took over that.. There conversation lasted a little while.. So I went on the computer for a few minutes.. That
ended.. We chatted.. We said we love eachother, cuddled and kissed.. She removed her make up and we went to bed together.. We woke up the next day.. And we both weren’t feeling our best
due to a few drinks the last night.. It was my grandmas bday party.. And we were debating about
going.. She wasn’t sure because of the reaction of my family, so we both got ready to go.. And she wasn’t having a very good hair day and it drives her mad when this happens, so after getting really frustrated with it she said she didn’t want to go because of it, and started saying really nasty things.. I just ignored her because the worst thing to do with her is to retalliate and I have learnt from the past not to do it and just comfort when she calms down.. Again it saddened me to see her stressed out like that.. So she decided not to come, so I said I’m unsure if I want to go either.. She stated her her ex boyfriend used alot of her money for cannibis and she had hardly any money left.. So she asked me if I could pay for travelling to work the next day, I was fine with that.. And agreed.. So I walked and got the
money and returned about an hour later.. And she apologised got saying what she did earlier and cuddled and kissed me and said I want to give things ago again.. We both agreed to take things slow but nothing official yet.. She was really happy and grateful I helped her with some money.. Later
on we watched a film one of your favorites, and all of a sudden she said she’s confused, she needs time and everything.. I just asked her a few questions of why and everything.. She said she needs time to think and look at all possibilties.. With me and her ex boyfriend.. I understood and accepted that.. And she said thank you for being understanding and I’m proud of you.. We went to bed.. And she had work the next day and that was our last day together and things were sad as she was getting ready like the old days when we first met and we knew it would be a few days until we saw eachother.. I accompanies her at the bus stop whilst waiting for the bus we both felt intense and upset of her leaving.. She reitterated she wanted to be back Wednesday (today) and see me.. I said that’s fine.. The bus came and she got on.. And I mouthed to her I love you.. I could tell her face she felt emotional and sad to go before she went she even said.. She finished work at 2:30pm that day and she went home.. All of a sudden everything went sour.. And she was honest and said she was back with her ex.. She said she loved both of us.. And now I don’t know what to do? When we were together, whenever she went home her emotions of upset always made things go strange and then we are together it’s a different story and we are happy again.. It seems like that all over again.. Even though she said she’s back with him, she still wants to see me, but I’m scare stiffless of everytime she goes homes this will happen.. She is a literal person, she can only operate when things are in front of her.. Phones and stuff like that she has said it’s like it’s not real..
Does anyone reply on this?
Hello Ben,
We get hundreds of questions a month via email and on this site. We don’t provide the same generic answers to everyone, we take our time to read all the questions and we carefully draft our answers to best help our readers. This takes hours of our time every day and we provide this help at no charge to our readers. There are always a number of questions in queue and yours isn’t any different. I could understand why you are in such a haste, but please show some respect to those who are trying to help you and other folks in similar situation to yours. We will answer your question in the order that it was received. Thank you.
I do apologise.. I wasnt meaning it in an inappropriate manner, because on this page there hasn’t been many posts and the last one was a year ago so I was just speculating and debating if I sent it to the right website page?
Hey Ben,
It is perfectly understandable now that I get your side of the story. I’ll get to you as soon as I can. Thanks for your patience.
Thank you, your advice, experience, and knowledge will be appreciated by me massively
thank you. Ben
Hey Ben,
I’m sorry you had to wait so long for a proper reply, but I hope you could understand I have been swamped with questions the past couple of months. I want to thank you for explaining things in such details. I could see how much you care for your ex girlfriend just by the immense effort you have put into describing your situation. You seem like a wise young man and I’m not certain if I can be of any help at all, but I assure you that I will do my best.
Although the way you treated your ex girlfriend after losing your job was hurtful and maybe even degrading, I don’t think it is an experience that should lead someone to go into a full-on depression. I’m not trying to bad mouth her in any way, but I get the feeling that she gets hurt easily and she isn’t particularly a strong-minded person. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe you were in many ways her protector, you had a way of easing her mind because she would easily get apprehensive about things. So when you became erratic after losing your job, I believe she lost that one person who she depended on to guide her through life and to shield her from things that scared her.
I know you feel responsible for her less than ideal current lifestyle, but break ups happen and you can’t take responsibility for the choices she’s made after you guys broke up. As adults, we should be able to retain at least our self-respect even through the nastiest of break ups, but some people just don’t have the mental fortitude to deal with big losses. I can say with pretty good certainty that you are strong enough to move on with your life without your ex girlfriend, if things came down that. Unfortunately, I can also see that you truly love this girl and you just hate seeing her throw her life away like she is.
Here’s what I think. She’s not playing games with you. When she lost you, she needed someone new she could count on to be there for her. After having slept with 7 different men, the current loser is one that stuck and that probably eased her anxiety. She knows the new boyfriend makes a poor replacement of you, but the thought of you possibly leaving her again probably scares her to get back with you. In my experience from having dealt with clients in similar situation to yours, she will not be able to leave her new boyfriend and the new guy will stick around for as long as you are around. I know you love her, but you really don’t want to be in the middle of the drama that’s unfolding in her life.
It doesn’t matter that you try to help her get her act together or that you try to get rid of the new boyfriend, her misery won’t end until she wants it to end. In life, there are very few things that are under our direct control. Her life certainly isn’t something that you can or should control. What you need to do is to get yourself out her mess and you should move on with your life. We all make mistakes and most of the time we learn from them and we come out a better person from the experience. Your ex girlfriend will too, but her current situation is something that she has to deal with on her own.
Wish her the best, say your goodbye, and allow her to figure out her predicament on her own. You my friend have a whole life ahead of you and you should put the past where it belongs… in the past. I wholeheartedly wish the best for you and you know where you can find me if you would like to discuss this further. Take care Ben.
i have been with this girl for 11 months and it has been on and off. she has a baby boy that is 9 months right now. i met the baby when he was only a month old and i been with him ever since. i have bi polar and anger issues and thats what sets me off a lot and then she breaks up with me. she breaks up with me because i get mad over little things she does. one recent incident were we were both in my car and we had to take one of her cousins home from school. i dont remember how the arguement started but it wasnt a big deal, but i was still a little mad. she knows wat gets me mad so i remember her saying “well fine, how bout i call some other boy up and maybe he’ll smoke me up instead” (smoking weed) we planned on smoking together after we drop her off. after she made that comment i said to her, go ahead. so she whispered to herself “13 and a” making it seem like she was texting somebody. i snatched her phone and said aint nobody picking u up. so, she tells wat the hell is your problem? im texting my cousins mom. she really did cuz she showed me. she got really mad but i still gave her phone back. then she grabbed my phone n threw it on my side of the door. i snatched her phone again and yelled at her saying “who the fuck do you think you are throwing my phone?” i yanked her phone again and threw it on her side of the door. her face got really red and when i dropped her cousin off, she wanted to get off too but i kept saying no. finally she left and she text me sayin she never wants to talk or see me again. her other cousins then call me right after that and asked me wat happened cuz she is crying. she has never cried for a guy before and i really felt bad. i constantly text her saying im sorry for acting so crazy but she never text back. so, that night i done some dirt and i got sent to jail the next day. she came and visited me with her son and her mom. we didnt talk about the issue much but talked about good things. we wrote eachother and we have never felt so good about eachother. she wrote the nicest thing to me and opened up my heart. wen i got out, i guess she took my phone and read my past text messages. i didnt really care cuz i didnt want to act like i were hiding anything. but it comes down to she caught me flirting with a girl. she never said anything about it cuz i put it down under a boys name. the next night we planned on hanging out with eachother. it was about 12 at night and i kept waitin on her because she never text me back. i was worried so i drove to her house and seen a red suv in front of her house. i knew something was up so i knocked on her sisters bf window and asked him to come out. i asked who the red car was and he said it was some skinny guy and hes in her room. i marched in the house and tried opening the door but it was locked. i went to the back and opened the window and flashed my light and i see her sleeping on his chest. i went insane and tried to beat him up but everybody stopped me. me and her were talkin outside and i asked her why another guy is sleepin with her. she told me wat happened and i believe her cuz her cousin and her sister and her bf was there telling me the same story. how she had people at her house drink and she passed out, and then i woke her up and she was sleeping next to him. i wont go into details but i still had a gut feeling something was not good. so the next day i talked to her about it again and everything was better. that night again, i was hanging out with her and i left to go do something, i came back and i seen the red car again… so i called her out and gave her an attitude and asked y he was there! she said he was her friends ride and he was gonna leave in ten minutes. so i acted like i didnt care and i wasnt mad so i stayed and drake with them. she was still mad tho cuz i accused her of things. i stayed the night there and the next day she looks throught my phone again and asked me who this guy was, i guess because that person called me hunny an all that. i told her it was my friend and then she told me to put it on something that its not a girl. i said to her i cant put it on nothing. she got mad at me and ignored me. so i left her house. wen i left her house i heard a lot of rumors, and the rumors were about the guy in the red car and about her. i was sooo mad and felt played, betrayed and everything. so i text her cussing her out calling her bad names and called her a cheat. we were talkin shit to eachother for hours and then finally, we broke down and told eachother the truth and it comes down to that she never did anything wrong and never cheated on me. it was jus me that fucked up for talkin to that girl but i kept on texting her telling her im sorry and that i dont love her and so on… she kept on telling me she cant take it no more and she dont want to be with me no more. i kept on saying sorry and how i cant live without her and kept on explaining my mistakes and how its not how it seems. after a couple of days of me texting her and her texting me back, we slowly talked again like we were friends. i kept asking her if we can meet up and chit chat but she said she was busy at the moment. i said ok and minded my own business. she called me at 3 am and asked wat i was doin. i was very surprised because i thought she wouldnt text me or talk to me cuz she was still mad. she said never mind so i texted her a question mark and she asked me if i can take her home cuz she is wasted. so, i agreed and took her to my apt and she spent the night. i was surprised we were talking and sleeping with eachother cuz of the crazy drama we had. i tried to act as tho everything was good but then i brought up the past and she got a lil mad. she wanted a ride home and i said ok wait for a little bit so that my roomate can take u home because my car was at the shop at the moment. she said ok and we jus sat in the living room listening to music. i was drinking a 40oz beer and i was feeling tipsy. after awhile, she said she really had to go home so i said ok do u have somebody else to take u home? she said she is finding out. she tells me her friend is taking her but it turns out that i dont like that guy, i hate him cuz they had a history with eachother. i kept telling her she better tell him to go home and that we are taking u home. she told me to fuck off and that she didnt have to listen to me. i got mad and when she tried to leave, i didnt let her. we argued outside and she explained to me why she didnt want me to take her home and thats cuz she didnt kno the guy that was taking her home and he was close by anyways. i kept sayin no. it ended up as a big fight and she yelled at me saying she will never talk to me again. when she left, 20 min later i text her saying i fucked up and i dont deserve her and things like that. its only been two days and it seems like she has moved on and has never texted me back. this happens a lot but this is more serious. i do have a gut feelings that i still have a slight chance to get her back but i cant do it unless i can somehow prove to her i am a better person. i have messed up this relationship a lot and its because i have insecurity problems and anger issues. it really sucks that now that i think about everything, i know wat i did wrong and how i am a bad person. it sucks how i realize everything at this point and i wouldnt be surprised if she never talks to me again. again this is not the first time this has happened. i want to kno the best thing to do to win her heart back and show her i changed. i jus learned to give her her space and not to text her so much or call her but i feel like i need more advice, please help me.
can somebody give me some advice? i know i have a chance with her but i want a better knowledge on how i can make things better.
Hello Anthony,
Truth be told, people can’t change from bad to good in a matter of days. That being said, you can’t be better just because you want your ex girlfriend back and therefore regret what you have put her through. Being a good person has a broad meaning I suppose, but I think most people would refer it to as being responsible, kind, and genuine or something in that general sense. It seems to me, that getting back together with your ex girlfriend isn’t going to be such a big deal, but the real challenge will be in being able to keep her for good.
I’m not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but one thing that I can tell you with absolute certainty is that you need to stop drinking. You may not have a drinking problem, but people with bipolar disorder must never drink. I know that people who suffer from bipolar are much more likely to develop alcoholism and even before they become a clinical alcoholic, mixed with alcohol they always have the destructive potential to make the lives of those around them a living hell. So if you feel that you are a better man than you were a few days ago, the first thing you should do is to prove to yourself that you can go without drinking.
I wouldn’t be surprised if you guys are back already. I’m really not worried about the part of getting back with your ex girlfriend, but I do think you should seek professional help to manage your disorder for yourself, your girlfriend, and for her child. Normal sleeping pattern, healthy diets, regular exercise, and keeping a positive mindset can dramatically help manage bipolar and a professional counselor can help you draw up the most ideal plan for you. Bipolar is manageable and using it as an excuse to avoid responsibility will only keep you down unnecessarily.
If you really love your ex girlfriend and if you truly want to get better, then do something about the problem that continually makes you hurt her and you’ll never have to deal with this sort of problem again. I think you are looking for the wrong answer and my hope is that you will see that. That’s my two cents Jon. You know where to find me if you would like to discuss this further. Best of luck to you.
actually, we are still not together. your right though, seek help for my bipolar, stop drinking, i am at the process of doing so. till this day after the break up, she acts as though she is better than me, acts like she doesnt need me, acts like she doesnt care, sometimes ignore me. i dont even talk to her much because i am giving her her space. i feel like if i give her too much space, she will be gone. its hard to figure out what i should do at this point. i can only do things for me, but what can i do for her, what is the smartest thing to do to get her back. i am patient.
Hello Anthony,
You are partly right about the danger of giving her too much space, but think about the alternative. You and I both know you are not ready to take her back and it will take some time for you to settle your problems. You guys have a history of breaking up and getting back together many times over, so I wouldn’t worry too much about getting her back down the road. If I were you, I’d concern myself over how I would keep her for good, rather worrying about this necessary time apart.
Getting back with her should not be your main concern right now. Whether it’s your ex girlfriend or any other girl, you will not be able to maintain a healthy relationship unless you deal with your problems first. The alternative is to hurt those you love and hurt yourself at the same time and have it happen to you over and over again. Why put yourself through something like that? Deal with the real problem Anthony and the rest… well, the rest will sort of fall into place. Take care of yourself.
One-on-one help has been moved to our brand new forum. Please register to receive one-on-one coaching. ==>Forum< ==