So, how do you get your ex girlfriend back when she has a new boyfriend? This really is the million dollar question, but don’t worry, I won’t charge you a million for the answer. The reason for the free advice is this, you hold all the cards and all I could do is to help you pick the right cards. Every relationship is unique and therefore it should be treated as such, there isn’t such thing as the universal method to winning an ex girlfriend back.
Before we can discuss the strategies to win back your girl, you should ask yourself this question. Is my ex girlfriend worth getting back? After a breakup and especially if you have been dumped, it’s impossible to have any sort of rational thoughts. I won’t force this on you too much, but please, do take a second and think if she really is worth all your effort and love in getting her back.
If you are still with me, let us continue discussing how to get your girlfriend back. Here’s the good news, your ex girlfriend’s first boyfriend after the breakup is most likely a rebound boyfriend. But here’s the bad news, until this little flame of theirs burns out on its own, there’s really nothing you can do to break them up.
The first step is the most difficult part of it all, because all you can do is to wait it out. I know it kills you inside knowing that you girlfriend is with some other guy, but you have to let her have this mini fling of hers. In the mean time, don’t make the mistake of contacting her in any way. That includes no text, e-mails, or letters.
you watch this video
If you stop calling though, she may call you instead and you may be tempted to sway her back. But I assure you that this is not the right time to make your move. If she does call you as a direct result of you ceasing contact, then she’s not calling you because she wants you back. She’s calling you out of her own insecurity and that’s because she suddenly realizes that you have moved on from the breakup. We know this isn’t true, but she will have no clue about this.
She realizes that she’s in a relationship that will not last, but she still felt comforted knowing that you would come back to her on a dime if she had demanded, but that was then and now she realizes that you will not be there for her anymore. At this stage, even if you could get her back, you should know that she will stick around for only as long as it takes to get her self esteem back.
After about a month or two, she will either breakup with the new boyfriend or trouble will start brewing in paradise. Women are most vulnerable right after breaking up with a rebound boyfriend. It’s ironic because rebound boyfriends are supposed to prevent this, but involving yourself in a meaningless relationship will do that to you.
This is when you make your entry and no, you do not go after her right away. You are there to lend her an ear and to be a friend to her. What you do from this point on is up to you and I have no answer for that. However, I will tell you to take things gradually if you want her back and want her back for good this time.
This is one way of getting your girlfriend back when she has a new boyfriend, but if you feel that your situation requires a more thorough planning, I suggest you read the next page. Click Here to continue.
Hi Coach,
Thanks for your encouragement.
About the question, to be frank, I do appreciate the one on one feeling that this site gives as it is.
I come here for your advice not just to air my point of view which is more akin to a forum.
So if you want to add the forum, you will need to differentiate it from another section, which you could call “talk to coach…”
I just feel the risk of the forum getting more popular than the one on one interaction with the coach.A forum will only give people access to lots of “advice”, but I think everyone is looking for a dedicated adviser. You get my point.
Talk to you later
cal
Hello Simon,
It would be close to impossible and especially considering that you guys probably live far apart from one another. If you lived close to her, my guess is that you guys would have probably met offline before she got herself a boyfriend. Never say never, but the prospect of winning her back doesn’t look for you.
So me and my girlfriend broke up about a month or two ago after being togather for a year and 3 months , then after our break up we were fine no one was sad or anything and she kept on telling me she couldn’t be with no one else and stuff so without thinking one day i told her to move on and be happy, but in reality i only said that to have space for my self so i guess she takes that starts hanging out with this dude she knew but not much and now they’re going out, all i want was a second chance so im lost and have suicidal thoughts, i clearly need her love and our bond back. Now she just ignores my calls and such, PLEASE Help and let me know what i need to do, i really love this girl and i need her back in my life
sorry i forgot to add this part, but i know i pushed her away, but i relize that what we had was so strong and i can’t just let it go just like that
Hey Bud,
Do get your ex girlfriend back or don’t, that’s up to you and I’m not going to debate you on that. However, as I said on my first message, you need to have more self-respect than you apparently do. You said and I quote “she hasn’t dumped her other bf is because she’s scared of what her mom would think of me.” So let me ask. Is there something seriously wrong with you? I mean, I assume not since you haven’t mentioned anything to that respect, but you make it sound like there should be a reason why your ex girlfriend must have been hesitant to introduce you to her mom.
Here’s another thing you said, “she didn’t want to hurt his feelings and that she was going to dump him after graduation”. If that is what your ex girlfriend actually said to you, then she is so full of shit that she should smell like one from a mile. I know love can dumb down people, but when people can’t smell the shit even when they are being fed full of it, then love is the last thing you should be worried about. For god sakes! Just read the message you have left here and wake up and see the kind of disrespectful acts you are allowing your ex girlfriend to get away with.
You can’t expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Your ex girlfriend or any other women you meet in the future, they will walk all over you again and again if allow them to disrespect you this way. Yes, I do believe your ex girlfriend is full of it, but the real problem lies with you and it also stems from you. If you still don’t get what I’m trying to explain to you, then maybe it’s enough that you are happy with the thought of getting her back one day.
Hey Calistus,
I’m glad you got some encouragement from my words and as always, I’m glad to be of service my friend.
I think I understand your concern about the forum, but you also came up with a great idea of making a separate “talk to coach” section. I just thought I could build a more user-friendly environment where people can talk to one another more freely, but I understand the one-on-one interaction is what most people are looking for.
Anyhow, thank you for your suggestion and your wonderful idea. Take good care of yourself and I’ll talk to you soon buddy.
Hello, i was just wondering what you thought about this…Ive been broken up with my ex girl for 6 months now and shes been seeing someone for about 4 months or so and when I found out about it I handled it well and wished her the best and that I wanted her to be happy…and then stopped contacting her for the last 6 weeks…so then, she gets ahold of me out of the blue and tells me that she was having problems in her new relationship and they had broken up…I again, handled it well, didnt bash the new guy and just lended her an ear. Since then weve emailed a few times and we talked on the phone once and she said they were still together but she knew it wasnt going to work out…So we email with my initiating it and she responds but I asked her to do something and she said she wanted to figure some things out before she probably took me up on any offers… Its been a couple weeks since then…What do you think is going on?? Should I tell her how I feel and that id love to get back with her or leave her alone and let her figure it out on her own…Thanks. Im clueless…..
Hello JJ,
Question, why would you feel suicidal for a girl that you felt fine about breaking up? It seems like you guys were broken up for at least a month, so shouldn’t that been enough time to realize that you wanted her back? I mean, it’s funny that the timing that you started to want her back coincided with her getting a new boyfriend.
Another thing is, people who are serious about getting back with their ex girlfriends usually make a little more effort than to put up a five liner message. I don’t know you and I do not know about your ex girlfriend. I don’t know about your relationship, break up, and I barely know anything about the post break up stuffs. I can’t comment on what I don’t know. Bye JJ.
sorry for the misunderstanding let me tell you the whole story, we met through online, we started talking and got each other’s numbers, we talked on the phone for enormous amounts of times each day, then we went out on our first date but i didn’t ask her out because i didn’t know how she felt then we kept talking then i realized she did have feelings for me then i finally asked her out on 3/2/10 i know exactly the day, after that we were in love with each other trying to spend much time as we can given that she lived on the otherside of the time and me being a fulltime student in a university i’d have to take the city bus to go see her since i didn’t have a car or anything, she introduced me to her family and her family they all loved me me more then they loved her,during the year and 3 months our relationship lasted we had a couple on and offs but we always ended back togather because we realized we just loved each other and it was like we shared the same heart. SO about a month ago me and her broke up out of the blue because i couldn’t see her much because i had no way of seeing her,but even after the break up i was always there for her, for anything , we were still taking to each other and such and i truly loved her but i just couldn’t say it how much she meant to me, and i kept pushing her away when she wanted me back, i told her to move on and be happy, but in reality i only said that because i need space because i was going through a tough time because i found out that my father has cancer i really didn’t mean it, i was just lost in my own world with all kinds of emotions not knowing what to do,then as time went on she stayed with her friend who is a girl for a while then both of them started hanging out with this guy they knew from high school and i know for a fact that they didn’t know him well, and now theyre going out, so recently i returned her gifts from christmas that she gave me and she asked me why? they were gifts to you and i told her i know but i want to return it because i don’t want to be reminded of you, then after i got home i gave her a call and she was crying and i told her to stop crying and i asked her for a second chance to work things out and she said no because now she has a new bf and i took too long to realize and when i went to go return the gifts i told her WHY I pushed her away, then on the phone i asked her, do you love me? and she said yeah, and i said more then a friend and she said yeah, but still wasn’t give me a second chance, and on her Facebook she put ” i need a bf” before they started hanging out and i asked her why she did that she said, because i just want someone to call my own and i was too weak to speak up and tell her that i love her and she should be back with me, and now she’s going with a guy, dear, Coach, i really really love this girl because the year i was with her was without any doubt the best year of my life, because she loved me like no one else could, and now i just need her back in my life because now she’s not even answering my calls, Dear coach, please help me get her back in my life and if you want to know something else please let me know and i can clarify it for you, so like i said i need her back in my life, currently i am not trying to contact her as i’ve been told by your articles to cease contact with her, Help
Hello Jeff,
I’m sorry to say, but she just used you as her emotional clutch during the time in which she was having a difficult time with her boyfriend. It depends on the situation, but it’s usually better to steer away from conversations about the new boyfriend and or how sad she is for things not working out with him. Just the fact that you are having that conversation it makes you look desperate to get on her good side and it makes it too obvious that you are still in love with her.
She’ll cry on your shoulder, you’ll make her feel better, and then she’ll go right back to pleasing her new boyfriend. Of course she’s done an excellent job for herself by telling you that things will not work out with her boyfriend in the end, so she’s telling you to be ready on the sideline in case she feels down again. Don’t get me wrong, there was a play when she first contacted you, granted not the most hopeful one, but a play nonetheless. The opportunity has come and gone though and she probably will not contact you until she needs you again for her selfish needs. That’s my two cents on your situation Jeff. Bye now.
Hello JJ,
First off, I hope your father is doing better. I have lost two family members and a friend to cancer in the past four years and I understand in how difficult of a situation you are in right now. I don’t know you personally, but I want you to know you and your father have my best wishes.
This is how I think your ex girlfriend perceives the reason for you pushing her away from your life. When life gets tough, you are supposed to want to be with the people that love you the most. You should be able to depend on them for love and support and that is the norm. However, you chose to exclude your girlfriend from this difficult time and you faced it on your own. From your perspective, you may have needed the space and maybe it was a novel gesture from you, to try to spare her from your stressful situation. To her however, this probably meant that she couldn’t depend on you for love and support if the tables were turned on her.
She’s not answering your calls anyways, so let her be for the time being and give her some space. Don’t call her until she calls you, but I’ll warn you right now it will probably take at least a month for her to start calling you again. She lost the trust in you and in some ways she’s probably mad at you right now. You are not doing the no contact in the traditional sense, but it is the time that’s needed for her to rid of all the negative thoughts she has of you.
Regaining her trust will not be easy, but a good start will be to include her in the most important things in your life. Even if she starts talking to you again, it isn’t as if she will participate in whatever you have going in your life, but you can always include her in them by telling her about them. Don’t try to feed her too much information all at once and take the gradual approach.
Don’t try to chase after the girl who wants to run away from you, just let her be and she will eventually tire herself out. I can’t guarantee it of course, but I do believe she will reach out to you again in the next two months. That’s all I got for you for now JJ. You know where to find me if you wish to talk more. Take care.
Coach,
i don’t know if you believe in god or religion or not, but it’s people like you who change the world and do it for others and not for themselves but for others, so moving on.
what if she doesn’t contact me in the next two months? because her b-day is on Sept. 2nd and i wanna be there for her, and not let her fall in love with this new guy she has, and i gotta tell you, i’ve realized she means so much to me and i shouldn’t have pushed her away, i love her so much that i dropped classes to spend time with her, and i just want her before i die, you may not want to know this but i have a heart condition and im likely going to die in next 5-7 years being that i can’t afford medications and surgeries, and i haven’t told her that yet, how long do i wait for her to contact me? and if she doesn’t contact me, when do i contact her? and when we hang out for the first time do i tell her that im not going to be around too long? not to get her to sympathize for me but there’s so much stuff i wanna tell her that i’ve been hiding for so long , please help me
Hey coach, thanks for taking the time to respond…You’re probably right about that,well, definitely right… so I guess my question now is what do I do if/when it happens again…If she calls me upset about it and apologizes for the way we broke up and wants someone to confide in, do I just ignore her or tell her I dont want to talk about that douchebag?? I know it will happen because I know of the new guy and what he’s all about. She doesnt love him, She’s just in a rebound!
I guess I never said this in my first post either, but we have been emailing here and there since the 2 weeks when she said she wanted to figure some things out before she took me up on any offers. Ive just been acting cool and making her laugh and giving her support for things that are going on in her life…but WE never mention her new relationship… Thanks!
sorry for doubling up but I just reread the article on this page and it seems like i did everything you said I shouldve done…been a friend and gave her an ear to speak to about her problems…and then never bash the new guy and dont try to get her back…yah I asked her to get lunch sometime but she is working through her rebound…I dont know…just confused! I dont know what to do…
Hello JJ,
It is certainly something that I did not expect you to say, but learning of your illness doesn’t change anything. In fact, it only emphasizes why you must live your life without regrets. Telling her about your heart condition right now is probably not a good idea, not that you suggested it, but I’m just agreeing with you.
Give your ex girlfriend a chance to initiate the first contact and it’s not as if there is a rule to this, but I would give her about a month. If she doesn’t contact you within a month, I think you should just call her and talk to her openly about everything. I suppose this would be one situation you couldn’t move on without doing everything possible to win her back somehow.
If you guys do get to hang out again, wait a little to tell her about your condition if things go well. If things look bleak from day one, then you should at least get everything off your chest before things deteriorate even further. When it comes to love, the winners and losers are decided by those who’ve given their all and those who’ve given up. There’s nothing to regret for if you’ve given your best and failed, but those who’ve given up will live their entire lives thinking “what if”.
I don’t know how everything will pan out for you and I can only guide you along the way, but let’s make sure that everything you do from this point on is the very best and nothing less. You know where to find me if you wish to talk more. Take care of yourself and don’t give up, a lot of things can happen in 5-7 years. Talk to you soon JJ.
P.S. – Thank you for your kind words, I feel as though I do not deserve such high praise, but the sentiment is much appreciated.
Hi Jeff,
The good thing about articles is that they are readily available for your intellectual consumption. The downside of them is that it is suitable to only the audience it was specifically written for. The articles on any website or magazine should be treated as a general guideline and not as the last word on the subject.
Every relationship is unique and therefore all the circumstances surrounding the break ups are unique as well, then of course the post-break up matters are all different from person to person and it’s impossible to cover every situation in a single article. This is why I offer one-on-one help with the use of this website and I believe I’ve already answered your question.
Now, if you have anything else to add to the story I’ll be glad to look at your situation again, but until then, this is all I have for you. Good luck and take care.
Coach,
you said to give her about a month to contact me, and if she doesn’t contact me i can call her and openly let her know about everyting and you also said if do hang out again, you said wait a little to tell her about my heart condition
Ok so here’s my my first question, is that if she doesnt contact me and i contact her and call her, what do i say to her? do i apologize or do i say questions like “hey how you doing?” “how’s life?” or do i call her and apologize and tehn let her know that i still love her and i need her because i don’t want to screw up the first chance i get.
and here’s my second question, about hanging out with her again and letting her know about my heart condition, do i wait till the second time we hang out or do i just let it all out the first time? or do i just talk the first time and see how everything goes, if she’s talking back and smiling and stuff the first time i can tell her the second time about my condition and if it’s going downhill and just let lose , because i know you said make the best of my time left but the thing is i just want to spend those last moments of my life with her and only her.
Thanks.
JJ
my x girlfriend and i broke up 3 years ago. still think about her on and off especially now that i heard she had a kid with another guy. when we broke up we broke up because she was younger and i was older 31/18 but we had been friends for many years prior to dating. We broke up because her mother broke us up because we starting talking marrige and the mother didnt like the idea. So i guess my x faked a pregnancy wich she kept me thinking she was pregnant till i found out from her cousin she wasnt. We were really close and i felt bad letting her just go, because her rebound guy turned out to be a real nasty drug guy. now shes back at home with her mother and a kid from not that guy but a worse guy. Is this girl worth thinking about? Ive started back in college and am in the same area she is and have her on the brain. What does it mean when a girl fakes a pregnacy jus to be with you
Hey JJ,
To answer your first question, I would just say let us not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s think about the what ifs when and if it happens, OK?
As far as telling her about your heart condition, this is something very intimate and personal that you would be sharing with her and I couldn’t exactly tell you when it’s going to be the perfect time to tell her about it. I’m not going to be there with you guys and feel what you guys feel, so how would I know when exactly you should tell her?
Look, if things go really well on the first day you guys meet, then give her a chance to enjoy that day for what it is, the first day of your reunion. If the second date comes easily, then from that point on I really don’t think it matters when you tell her. She has to know at some point and second or the fifth date wouldn’t really make a big difference.
I hope that answers your questions. Talk to you then, take care JJ.
Coach,
Thanks for all your help, but i got one last question for you until something happens, what about her current Boyfriend? is there really a chance for me to be with her being stated that she already has a bf? or is there no chance at all? do i gotta change for her or just be the same ol me?
Hello Steve,
I guess she loved you as much to make up a lie about her pregnancy to her mom so that she could stay with you. But that also shows how young and immature she was and despite all of that you guys still broke up.
Look, not many men have it in them to love the child of another man as his own when they get married to a woman with a child or children from the previous marriage. It’s probably for the best that you move on from this girl, because you are still thinking about a relationship with her in terms of you and her and only and you are not really thinking about the child.
Let it go Steve, you got your ex girlfriend to worry about on top of the child that she has brought into this world and it’s just going to be too much for young man like yourself to handle. That’s my two cents, you know where to find me if you wish to talk more. Goodbye.
Coach,thanks for your thoughts. thats exactly what my cousin said. The child is from the 2nd short term guy she had after me. both guys were thugs. a bit of background on me. Normal guy no drugs bad behavior ever family is christian and normal family values. She is i guess you would say lower. she s a good girl just got the bad roll with the dice in families. I know she s good which is why i kept thinking about here and she tried to call me in jan but i didnt repley. main reason im asking u this is. We wanted to get married but i told her i had to wait cause i had too many college bills and family making me pay for all my school. Then after we broke up with a month shes with one nasty guy then 6 months later a worse one. she had a kid with him. they both got her into some bad things aswell. she denies it but i was told by the family they were doing some bad stuff. I feel bad that i could have prob prevented her whole experience with those two guys if i would have fought for her more. I basically let her make her descion but she was forced to by her mother so i had no say. Did i make the right descion to let her go? or should i have done more? ive been beating myself up over that descion for awhile now.
Hi JJ,
The new boyfriend is very likely a rebound and that is the reason why I think she will try to contact you within a month. I wouldn’t have told you to give her some time if I didn’t believe you didn’t have a chance with her.
Read through my replies to other people on my site and you will see that I advice the inquirers to move on just as many times as I advice others to do whatever it takes to win them back. On this site, I may not promise a magic bullet like some other sites do, but I can promise you that you will never receive a disingenuous reply from me. I cut all the bullshit out of getting an ex girlfriend back.
I think I suggested the thirty day no contact on June 29th, so start the countdown from that day and contact me again if you have any news or when the thirty days are up. Alright then, talk to you soon Buddy.
Hi Steve,
I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth either, so I get it when you say she got the bad roll with the dice in families. I wasn’t born into money, but I at least had a loving and supportive family, so I guess I had a lot more than she ever did. But you know, at the end of the day, we all make our own choices in life. I understand that in some countries people still live like it is the middle ages, but I doubt that I’m talking to someone in such country.
You had a legitimate reason for not being able to take on more responsibilities and she should have chosen to wait for you. But instead, she chose to run off with a thug and then another. She had many choices and even if she decided to end things with you, she could have chosen to not get involved with the thuggish boyfriends and most of all, she could have easily used a birth control device but she didn’t. She had many choices and she made all the wrong ones. You can’t fault yourself for the choices she’s made.
You are a good guy Steve and that is why you feel responsible for your ex girlfriend’s troubled life. The world could use more guys like you, but the world also needs people like me to show you that you haven’t done anything wrong. You are alright Steve, move on with your life and stop worrying about her, she will find a way to live her life as well. That’s it from me Steve. Take care of yourself and have a happy life my friend.
thanks for the advice coach
me and this girl been together for 4years. For the last 2 were together just without the bf/gf tittle. we were together doing bf/gf stuff but just without the title. about a month or so ago we talked about maybe spending some of the summer apart cuz we wernt “dating” and since i had time to be away, she wanted to take some time and have like a summer bf. I was cool about it and then like a week later she was with the dude. at first i was upset but now im cool. We still got feelings for each other but shes trying to hide them because she says she doesnt want to hurt the guy and do him wrong. she keeps the option of us getting together again in the future but its just id like to know basicly what is there that i can do to maybe see if we will get back together ya know? She says she likes the guy and is happy right now. Plus is she on the rebound? The guy had tried talking to her at one time but she kept pushing him away but it wasnt till like a week before they dated he contacted her again. We also hang out from time to time and have small talk here and there. When we hang out it feels as if we were together without being physical and she told me she loves me and misses me and said the reason why she wouldnt talk to me at first was because she knew that if we started talking her feelings would come back and she would not be doing what shes trying to do. Plus she does want us to be close no matter what happens. Is there a future with us again?
Hey Coach,
Id appreciate the advice from my situation. Thanks
Hello Jarrad,
I’ve seen married couples that live separately and get together a few times a week. I’ve also seen a couple who openly went outside of their relationship for sex. I’ve seen many couples who were out of my norm, but as long as both parties involved are happy about the lifestyle, I say to each his own and the hell with the norm.
You and your girlfriend (or non-girlfriend) share a very unique lifestyle together. I’m not judging you guys, so don’t get me wrong, but you guys definitely think differently than most average folks. Is there a future in you guys? I don’t know that anyone can answer that. Come to think of it, who knows that the future holds for anyone?
Look, what I know is this. The type of relationship you guys have is an open relationship and in such relationship obligation or commitment would go against the grain. Once again, as long as you guys are happy about the arrangement you have agreed upon, I say go crazy with it. However, I think it’s foolish to think about the future of your relationship when it is clearly arranged for the “Now” rather than the future. That’s my two cents Jarrad. Take care.
Thanks Coach,
I really do appreciate it. I also wanted to add that for some time she did want the title but I just got comfortable in the situation. She says I put her through alot and says this was something she needed to do. Do you think it might be for her to get my attention as well? Is she doing it to feel like she means something with the gf title? Because she did say that she was confused the whole time we were together and just thought that we were ok in the spot we were in. I appreciate the advice.
Hi Jarrad,
I don’t think it’s fair that your ex girlfriend (non-girlfriend) is trying to put the blame squarely on you. You didn’t twist her arms to continue having a non-relationship relationship for two years and I find it somewhat disingenuous on her part to say that you put her through a lot. As far as I’m concerned there were two willing participants in this non-relationship relationship you guys had and both of you are equally responsible for the good and the bad.
Is she doing this to get your attention? Honestly, I really don’t know. I barely know anything about your relationship to her and I’d lying if I said I was sure she was doing this to get your attention. I don’t see why you guys couldn’t have a future together, but at the same token your rather unconventional relationship with her does make the odds somewhat of a roll of the dice.
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This is method still possible? we have been together for 5 years and during this period, we have patch and break for the 3 major times and now she is moving on and progress very fast with this new guy. after only a month she accepted the guy proposal and planning for marriage soon. We previously got a build to order flat which will be ready in 2013, now she quite firm to cancel this flat and get marry with this new guy. all these actions do not seem to me to be a rebounded relationship. what should i do now. Please help me.
Hey Coach,
I broke it off with my girlfriend about 4 month’s ago but we talked almost everyday since then and she kept telling me that she loved me and wanted me back and i could never give her a deffanite answer and as of last week she said she wanted to get back with me so I talked to her this week and said i wanted to get back with her and she said she met another guy and now wants nothing to do with me and Ihave been telling her that I am sorry for everything and i am giving her what she wants and and over the past week we talked a little bit and then over the last few days we spent almost 5 hours on the phone and she said she is mad and wants to see where it goes with this new guy. she has now deleted me from facebook and I a trying my best not to call or write her and give her space and it is tearing my heart out.
Please Help
Hey Coach,
So recently my girlfriend and i broke up after dating for a year and a half. We were eachother’s first basically everything. I went away to college and things got a little harder. Towards the end of the semester i was under alot of pressure from finals and she was very irritated said i wasn’t the same anymore. I broke up with her through a text message while i was away. I really regret doing that because i know that it was disrespectful to her in so many ways. Well about 3 weeks later when i get home from school i find out she is dating someone else. Of course i panicked. We talked in person and spilt all my emotions saying how i messed up and i was still in love with her and i wish we could go back to way things were. At the end of it i said if you are truly happy then i will just leave you alone. Well she basically blew me off and said that she had moved on. I was in a very depressed state for the next couple of weeks. I find out not shortly after that she deleted all of the pics of us off of facebook. I understand that she did so to try and get over me but it still bothers me that she thinks she can delete me from her life. Around the same time i hear from some of my friends that she told them i was a horrible boyfriend to her. I know that i was selfish and sometimes i messed up and got wrapped up in other things but horrible i would never say. I decided to just keep to myself and not talk to her. A week later me and my friends go to a party and she is there without her new boyfriend. One of my best friends, Cheyenne, said to ignore her because it wasn’t cool for her to talk bad about me to other people and that she was ignoring her too. It ends up the next day i hear from two of my friends that she told them how she missed me and the way things were. She even cried because of me and my friend ignoring her. I decide to continue with the No Contact rule. Well recently it seems like she is trying to be connected all of my close friends even my mother. When we go out somewhere she runs up to my best friend and tells him how much she loves him and glad hes here. She even seems to like alot of the posts my mom puts on facebook – which to me just doesn’t seem coincidental since she is the kind of person that overthinks things like myself. I really love this girl and care about her but i feel like i am getting mixed signals. It seems like she still cares but then other times its like she couldn’t be happier with her new boyfriend. I don’t want to break them up because i find that disrespectful and low and i am not that kind of person. But i just don’t know exactly what i should do in this situation. Please any advice?
Dane
Hey emo,
I’m sorry I didn’t catch earlier. We have new forum for one-on-one coaching. Click ==>Ex Back Coach Forum and register to ask your questions there. Thanks.
Hi Shaun,
Please register at our new forum to receive one-on-one help from ExBackCoach. Click==>Get Her Back Forum.
Hello Dane,
Please register at our new forum to receive one-on-one help from ExBackCoach. Click==>Win Her Back Forum.
Dear Coach,
my ex girlfriend and i broke up about 4 months ago after dating a year. a month after we broke up she started to date someone else and that relationship lasted a month becasue she realized she still had feelings for me and she realized that she was in a rebound relationship. so about a few weeks ago i get a text saying… ” i need to talk to you about us” so i asume its going to be bad. but she tells me that she still thinks she loves me. so i am extremely happy because i still love her a lot and i want to be with her. shortly after that she starts to hangout with her ex boyfriend that she just broke up with but she tells me its nothing. so a few days ago i talk to her about us and getting back together. she says she is confused on what she wants. she still has feelings for me and this other guy that she just broke up with. i really want to be with her and everything and one day she will be like i want to be with you then the next day she’ll say she is confused again. she wants to hangout with me but she said she doesnt want to lead me on or anything. so i dont really know what i have to do to be with her. she says she needs time to think and sort our her feelings and stuff.
Thanks
hello coach,
I was dating this girl for a year and we broke up. The break up was from me fighting with her when we got home from the bars as drinking changes my personality. But let me explain the break up first and then I will need your advice. This is within a week period of time. Monday I had called her and asked if we were still together because I saw she hid her relationship status on her facebook, she had said yes I am still with you. Tuesday at 11:00pm while I was home I recieved a text from a trusted friend saying she was at the bar with a new guy and saying it was her new BF. I had texted and she said it was just a friend. I went to her house at 1:30 to wait for her to confront her about this. I waited till 4AM and she never returned. The next day she texted me again and said he was just a friend and that i go out with my females friends so it should be ok (Which it is but i never met the guy). Weds I just texted her and told her I loved her and stuff. Thursday I went over to her house uninvited in the afternoon and she was pulling in. She yelled at me hardcore, and said to hurry up cause she was going fishing with Michael (The guy from the bar). Now mind you she moved out two weeks before because she said she had to be there for her mother and daughter cause her parents were spliting. Anyways I asked her if she still loved me and she said yes but not in love. I asked her if she still wanted to be together and she said no not really not right now. I cryed begged and said is it cause of this new guy, she said no he is just a friend. (Still) friday just sent one text telling her i loved her and sorry for being a jerk. Here comes the kicker…
Sat comes, Her and my trusted roomate work together at a restuarunt. she calls me and said he was there and gave her a silver necklace and they exchanged a 5 second on the mouth kiss. She asked her whats going on and she told my roomate that it was her boyfriend…. Thats the break up.
she stoped texting me thursday after I left, I sent her one last text Sat night telling her I want her to be happy and loving you is letting you go and goodluck with this new guy. I havent heard anything back, I also instilled STICT NO CONTACT as well on my part. She blocked me from facebook so i cant see anything (altho i can threw my roomates cause they are still friends) She hasnt changed her profile pict, her relationship status is still hidden and all the posts are just checkins at bars with this new guy. She hasnt picked up her stuff yet like a forman grill, valcumn cleaner (nice one) and other things. Wends this week she asked about me to my roomate and how i was. (she told her positive things. except the 15lbs i lost from not eating.
My question is, do you think this guy is a rebound? altho she knew him 6 years ago as a friend? Is there a chance for us to get back together even tho he has ALOT of money. It seems they are drinking all the time, do you think that will make the relationship[ diminish? and why hasnt she picked up her stuff including cat?
I have made self improvements for me, The weight loss, I have been sober for a week and plan on never drinking again as this pushed her away, Ive been excerising. What do you think in my situation. Move on or hold out on this one.
Thank you,
Shannan
Hello Harry,
ExBackCoach has moved the one-on-one help to our new forum. Click==>Win Her Back Forum and register.
Hello Shannan,
We have a new forum up and running for one-on-one help with ExBackCoach. Click==>Win Her Back Forum and register.
Im in the same situation, except we have a 1 year old child. She happy with her new boyfriend and I want her back we can be a family. Eversince I became a father ive become more responsible because I choose to take care of my family and work hard to provide for everyone. She thinks I became boring because we dont go out and drink and party like we use to do before we became parents. She obviously found interest in this other guy. He’s feeding her a bunch of bs and telling her what she wants to hear to get her in bed. She had a troubled past with drinking and suicide atempts, but ive never held that against her. Ive always been supportive of her and was there for her when she needed me the most. Now she acts like everything we ever went through good and bad never exsisted. Shes only known the guy for a month and she thinks shes so in love with him. I tried everything from talking sense into her and to doing sweet things to win her back. Everyday seems like a new fight to try to work things out and be together again. Nothing is working at all!! I dont want to give up on her because I love her and our son is too young to see his parents go through this. What should I do?
Hello Mark,
We’ve moved one-on-one coaching to our new forum. Click==>Get Girlfriend Back Forum and register to ask your questions. Thank you.
So I was with my ex for a year and a half. Out of the blue I.caught her talking to a guy she met at her friends wedding I didn’t go to. So I broke up with her cuz she met up with him anyways I moved out and she said she wasn’t talking to him anymore and we started dating. Well I was a jerk next thing I know I found out she was hanging out with her friend who got married and that girls husband and his best friend aka my exe new man she slept with him. And I found out about it when she cane over anyways she said it was awkward and was drunk etc so I gave her a chance we continued to date sleep together everything but she kept acting weird a few weeks later she calls me crying saying we need to talk then told me she was in a relationship with this guy while still sleeping with me. Told me she loves me more etc and was going to break up with him that day. Well that night was there one month anniversary and he bought her a tv and she ended up not breaking up with him. Well a month later after telling me the past month she wants me back and loves me etc. She’s still with him and says she loves him. I’m devasted what can I do to win her back. She still tries contacting me but I do.t know what to do
I lost my girlfriend bcuz I lost control of myself, she after a month found a new boyfriend, a guy I considered a friend. I regret everything I did and am sorry I did it, I love her and promise that if I get her back I will never make the same mistakes again, she now lives with my sister n an apt I did the whole avoid her and she did call me after just a few days but just to make sure I was not gonna kill myself, since then we see each other a lot bcuz well she lives with my sister, she tells my sister sometimes that she misses me and wears the necklace I bought her, I asked once if I still had hope she said “yeah just not now” idk how to get a read on her, am I making mistakes by being around so much? Am I not giving her time to miss me? She has a son who loves me and I love her son as well we have a strong bond I’ve known him since He was born, it’s only been 2 months that we have been broken up and one month since she’s been with this guy, I want her back how do I do it?
Hello Dogtown1,
One-on-one coaching has been moved to our new forum. You’ll have to register in our new forum to speak to the coach. Here’s the link to the forum ==>Get Girlfriend Back Forum.
Hello just needed a bit of advice.I met a girl when I was traveling cuba. we didn’t get to know each other very well but we were able to spend an amazing night together.she had a boyfriend but was going through a rough patch.they are currently trying to work through it.my question is should I go back for her? We had an amazing connection and I can’t stop thinking of her
Me and my ex had been going out for eight months when we broke up i treated as best as i could and most of the time she did the same to me. This was during school time and we held each other up. we broke up about a month ago and initially were going to get back together, but i flew off the wall telling her how bad it felt without her and she blew up at me. I deleted her off of facebook and the day after i tried to add her again telling her that i was sorry for being immature. her friend added me and she got mad at me i told her the only reason why added her friend was because i wanted to talk to her it has been almost a three weeks now and she has a new boyfriend please help me