Is the thought your ex girlfriend being with another man just killing you on the inside? Even if you don’t have feelings for an ex girlfriend, learning about her dating again is unpleasant at the very least. Now, if you still have feelings for your ex, then you can multiply the unpleasantness by about a thousand fold. There is however, a way to win back your ex girlfriend from her new boyfriend. The plan is simple enough, but it will seriously test your patience to its absolute limit. If you are ready for the challenges ahead, then this plan will put you on the right track.
Phase 1 – Let go of her and the past
Avoid at all cost of being labeled a desperate ex boyfriend. There is a very fine line between that of a stalker and an ex boyfriend who just can’t let go of the past. Convince her that you have moved on and leave the past in the past where it belongs. The plan is to start something new with your ex girlfriend, because trying to fix what’s broken down beyond repair is futile. If you want her to come to back, then is only logical that you first let her go.
Phase 2 – Invest some time in yourself
Stay away from your ex girlfriend for a month or two, this is both a strategic need and an emotional need at the same time. If you can recall the first couple of months of your relationship with your ex girlfriend, then you shouldn’t have trouble figuring out that there is nothing you can do to stop her from seeing her new boyfriend at this juncture. The real relationship starts after the honeymoon period and that’s when relationships start to get tested.
There’s also the fact that you need this time to complete the phase 1 of this plan and not to mention the fact that you will have to make some major improvements on yourself. Successfully completing phase 1 will have you mentally prepared for the challenges ahead, but next you will have to make some improvements to your physical appearance. Exercise regularly, eat healthy, and start dressing up a little.
Try wearing casual clothes exclusively for one week and then try wearing formal clothes for an entire week the week after. You will notice an enormous difference in the way you carry yourself depending on the clothes you wear and more importantly people around you will notice the difference as well. By no means I am preaching you to go out and grab a new suit, for all I know your ex girlfriend hates men in suit, but I want to reinforce to you the idea that you should dress for success.
you watch this video
Keeping yourself fit will give you a huge boost in self-esteem and dressing for success will reinforce the idea of change in you, both to yourself and to others around you.
Phase 3 – Wait for your chance
Here’s the good news, no relationship is trouble free forever and your ex girlfriend’s new relationship will start to get tested on the first month or the second. This is especially true in your ex’ case because her new boyfriend is likely just a rebound guy and rebound relationships are not built to last.
If she dumps the new guy, she will inevitably start thinking about you, the last real boyfriend. But then if she’s the one who ends up getting dumped, then you are in a perfect spot to save her when she is most vulnerable.
In the event that her new relationship continues on, you will have to change your tactic and approach her under the cover of friendship. Don’t ever make the mistake of letting her know that you still have feelings for her and make it convincing enough that all you want is her friendship. If you have been away from your ex for couple of months or more, then it shouldn’t be much challenge to convince your ex that the two of you should be friends.
This friendship will stir small but persisting problems with the new boyfriend and it will be enough to subtly put yourself in between your ex girlfriend and her new man. Once you have maneuvered into this position, you won’t have to do much to break them apart.
There are many other ways to go about getting your ex girlfriend back and on this single article I can only cover so much topic. If you want to learn about all the different strategies that you can use to get your girlfriend back, then Click Here to watch this 5 minutes long video presentation and see for yourself what kind of chance you stand on winning her back.
Hey Rupert,
It’s all-in or nothing buddy. You are going to swing for the fences (sorry it’s baseball analogy), so there would be no point in sending this letter if you were going to say something as soft as “if you ever need a friend” This is an apology letter and as well as a goodbye letter. We are trying to evoke strong emotions from her, something that will make her remind herself of you for months to come. Keep the letter brief and to the point.
You continue to ask me the same questions that I’ve answered already, because you are still fearful of putting everything on the line. While your concerns and tentativeness are understandable, you have to make sure this one letter will make a big impression on her. So yes, you are going to tell her you are moving on and this letter will be sort of be the last good thing you will do for her, an apology which is long overdue.
As for your concerns about her replying to you saying “I still don’t want you” or “we are not right for each other” Well, why would you worry about a reply like that? I already told you to mention in your letter that you were moving on, it would put her in a very awkward position if she’d reply to you in that manner when you specifically told her you were moving on, no? So let’s pretend you didn’t ask that question
.
By the way, you have a choice to make here, you can either send the letter now or you can just try the no contact. Sending the letter after two months would be pointless because we want her to initiate contact with you in the next couple of months. I don’t want you keeping this up past 4-6 months, fighting to win back the woman you love is all good, but at some point if it doesn’t work out, you have to let go and move on with your life.
Don’t worry about their honeymoon phase or the Facebook stuffs. Concern yourself over the things that you have control over and ignore everything that require guesswork to come to a conclusion. If you do send the letter, you are essentially telling her that you are kicking her out of your life, but in a little more polite manner. Don’t mention things like how you pushed her into a new relationship, keep in mind that I said to keep the letter as brief as possible and to the point.
Bring up few incidents that you would like to apologize for, tell her the experience helped you become a better man, apologize, thank her, announce that you are moving on, and say your goodbye. Alright then, I’ll talk to you soon Rupert. Goodbye.
Hi Russ,
When you are in a relationship with a woman you love, it’s perfectly understandable why you would try to accommodate her to the best you can. I love my family too and I like to live in close proximity to them as well, but soon I will have to make a move to about two hours away from my mom and my sister to shorten my girlfriend’s commute time to work. I don’t like it, but I also don’t like seeing my girl come home tired from a 1hr and 10 minute train ride. So I make the compromises necessary to make our relationship work and so does my girlfriend. That’s what adults in real relationships do and if what your ex girlfriend was saying is true, then she still got a lot of growing up to do and you are probably better off without her anyways.
If she still tries to contact you and you find it hard to move on with your life because of that, then tell her that you would like her to stop calling you. The less you waste your time on her the better. Your efforts, energy, love, and time should be channeled on someone who is deserving of them and not the girl who thought 15km was too far be from her family. Well, that’s it from me Russ. Take good care of yourself and good luck.
Coach,
You are definitely right. I shouldn’t be worrying about all that. I guess this is just the first girlfriend that I really loved and cared about, so seeing her with another guy is miserable. But I’m sure you hear that all the time. And I see your point about sending it now. Just needed your take on that. About her possible responses, I agree with that as well. What I meant, though, was do I even do or say anything to that? But you’re right, I’m not going to worry about that.
Anyways, I’m working on a new letter, because the first one was way too long. You said I can either do the no contact, or send the letter. Which one would you do? Or which one do you think has a higher probability of working? I guess the only difference between the two strategies is that one is sending a letter, and then no contact whereas the other is straight up no contact. I’m just deferring to your expertise on which one would work better.
As always thanks for the response,
Rupert
Hello Jeremy,
Nowhere in the reply did I say you should just follow the advice on my article. I said let it go and I think that answer was pretty straightforward. By the way, what would be the point of you saying that you too just wanted to be friends when you’ve already told her you loved her?
Anyways Jeremy, I’m not the last word on winning back an ex girlfriend, but I say it like I see and this is my opinion on your situation. I guess there could be someone that could help you get her back, but I’m just saying that isn’t me. Ok then, good luck Jeremy.
Hello Need Help,
If you read my first reply to you again, at the very last paragraph you will notice I said your only option is no contact. You’ve made quite many mistakes after breaking up and you don’t really have much play here. So what do you do when you no longer have any moves? The answer, you let her make the next move and use that bridge your next move.
Some relationships, bringing back a broken up couple together is so easy it sometimes takes me just a day to have them back. I’ve had few cases in which I needed just one interview that lasted less than two hours, one hour of coaching how to speak to the ex girlfriend, how to arrange a meet, and that’s all it took to bring them back. It took me one day to bring back a couple who weren’t even on speaking terms for weeks and months.
Everything depends on the circumstances the particular ex-couples are facing and so some cases look more hopeful than others. Yours doesn’t look great, but we can still give it one last shot, so have patience and give her some time to make the next move. I appreciate you shedding more light to the story, but we still have to wait to see exactly where you stand. Bye for now.
Yo Coach,
Couldn’t help but read the other posts that are up on here before putting in my question. Need Help’s questions are eerily similar to my situation. One where I made some big mistakes after the break up which led to her ignoring me while I tried to make contact here and then finding out she just recently started to date another guy. Stating that, I do want to get my ex back and gauging the reply that you gave Need Help, the chances aren’t good.
Since I found out about the new guy, I figured I had to start getting back out meeting girls. I met this one girl who is cool and very hot and we hung out a bit so far. We exchanged our stories of our ex’s and figure to try and have something fun together. I still love my ex very much and consider her the girl I want to marry, but I feel that I can’t just sit around as some other guy is with her.
My question basically is this an effective strategy to help me cope with the break up (and the regret of making so many mistakes) while also formulating a plan whether its no contact or not to get my ex back?
Do you have any suggestions that may help me?
Hey Rupert,
I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by making this suggestion to you, but to answer your question about whether you should use the letter or not… It would vary from case to case, but if I were in your situation I would send the NC letter.
If she calls you after the letter, then it’s probably best that you don’t answer that call. You could answer the call if you can be convincing enough that you have actually moved on, but past experiences tell me that you won’t be able to pull it off. Nothing against you buddy, but it’s just that men in your situation just don’t do a good job at keeping their emotions in check. It’s best that you ignore the call and text her back after about half an hour with a generic “Sorry I missed your call” message.
Let’s first wait for her response to the letter and then we can come up with your next moves accordingly. OK then, talk to you soon Rupert. Take care.
Hello Martin,
First of all, when it comes to romantic relationships, it is a bad idea to try to do many things all at once. Multitask is just another word for half-assing many jobs instead of doing one job very well. So you either try to move on with your life or you try to find a way to get your ex back, but you don’t do both. Make up your mind and come back.
By the way, while Mr. Need Help’s situation may be similar to yours, it is still not the same thing. So if you decide to win your ex girlfriend back, then I suggest you tell me as much as you can about your relationship, break up, and the post break stories so that I have a good understanding of your situation. OK then, talk to you soon Martin.
Coach,
Well my birthday passed and no word from her. There’s no way she wouldn’t know or forgot today is my birthday. So she either went out of her way in order to not wish me happy birthday, or she just doesn’t care about me at all anymore. I guess maybe I got my hopes up too high that she’d at least say happy birthday, since it was a big deal when we were together. Her birthday is also the same day as our anniversary, and my birthday was a huge day for us too. The thing that worries me is that she never keeps in contact with her ex-boyfriends. I have a feeling I’ll just be another guy on that list. Maybe I’m overreacting. Like I said before, this is the first girl I cared about. Every other time I broke up with a girl, I couldn’t care less what she did with herself afterwards. But this time, it seems like she and her new boyfriend are inseparable. I don’t know if this is normal rebound behavior, or if they’re for real. All I know is it’s miserable.
Sorry to rant. There’s nobody else I can vent to. I’m going to send the NC letter on Tuesday since Sunday there’s no mail and Monday is July 4th. I figured that would give me time to let the letter marinate and make sure it says what I want it to.
I’m starting to feel like my situation is hopeless. I probably ruined my chances before the breakup and afterwards with the initial reactions. I’m guessing my only option is to send the letter and wait it out. I know your first piece of advice is usually to move on. Believe me, I’ve tried. Maybe everything I’m doing to get her back will be for nothing, but I just feel like if I don’t try, I’m going to live the rest of my life thinking “what if?” So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. I was sending the letter as a means to getting her back, but I guess now I’m kind of sending it for myself too. To get some closure. Even though I won’t stop after the letter, I still feel like she needs to know how sorry I am. If she at least knows that, then maybe a little bit of the wound will heal.
Sorry there’s no actual question in there. I kind of just needed to vent. Today was pretty hard considering how unforgettable my birthday was last year with her. And now July 4th is coming and I’ll have to battle memories of last year’s July 4th with her too. I think the worst thing is, her new boyfriend’s birthday is in 2 weeks, so I’m sure they’ll go all out for that, and then her birthday is at the end of the month. So basically she’ll be having the best month of her life and it’ll just make her forget me even more. I guess the timing of my situation just sucks. I’m never going to break down enough to where I’ll call her or whatever, but I still feel so beaten and I didn’t know what to do. Sorry for venting, Coach. Venting here prevents me from doing stupid things. I’ll give you an update when I send the letter, and I guess we can go from there.
Happy Fourth,
Rupert
hey rupert, I know the feeling but hey, keep the faith and do follow what coach says – lots of people have come back once they’ve followed his advice with positive news and others have come to the realisation that their girlfriend wasn’t for them after all.
Today was a really hard day for me too as I had to do some “family” things and I really wasn’t in the mood but hey, we gotta all carry on. Keep going man and do send your NC letter!
Jon,
Thanks bro. I’m trying man, but it’s hard. I’m sure every guy on this site knows how I feel, so I felt like this was the place to vent. I’m still sticking to the plan so we’ll see what happens.
Thanks,
Rupert
Hey coach…
long time, seems like you got your hands full. i won’t waste your time coach. but i wanted to say thank you for everything. me an her are working out great. she calls me everyday we call each other babe. she even said more than likely we’ll be together before christmas… but yes… were not really planning any future things. cause i think thats a little thing that mest us up before. but i also don’t think its a bad thing. anyways. you did help me out a lot… i know that the advice you gave me was advice and not anwsers.. and thats fine because when it came time to do react i remembered the advice and made my own anwser. either way you helped me through that jealousy crap! thank you so much coach. i needed this help. and now were taking things slow. and its great her mom actually likes me… her friends are open of us being together and actually haven’t argued as they told her. they could see i was the only man she ever loved. but i know i’m going off… its great to get back in. we don’t argue ever its more laughs than anger. once again thank you coach for the tips and advice. and i would like to say something to all the other men in here wanting what i worked for….
listen up fella’s…… first: she is not going to come back or think of you two for AWHILE. granted not all girls are the same. but i’ve seen some similar situations as mine.. a lot actually. so don’t get your hopes up in case her bday is coming up or yours or one of her family members. or anything that you know will remind you of you an her. SHE WON’T COME BACK. probaly wont even call you.
SECOND: when coach says or other people say LET IT GO. that means let it go. you can still think about her sure… im not saying erase her. but let her live her life a little. emotion is big for woman. so let her do her thing and you concentrate on yourself. do better at work. set a bar for school go work out. go have fun with friends. go on dates. whatever… its not like its payback… but honestly fellas. if you concentrate on you. the less you bug her. the less you bug her. the more she thinks of you. even if she’s talking to someone else. BUT this is only IF SHE TRUELY LOVED you. she will never forget about you. basically you have to be patient as fuck. for a long time. and some of you might quit an go for another. and that’s cool. you never know… if you want to fight your heart out. you have to wait a long while and be cool about everything. if she starts talking to you. talk to her as a normal friend. im not saying be her friend. just talk to her like one.
i waited 8 months fellas. she dated and so did i. and now we want each other back. patience is the key. and it will save your ass. don’t ever say anything stupid or mean or be jealous. because honestly ONE wrong move and your just adding time.
so everyone coach is good. he tells you what tips you need individually to help you through your situation. and just listen. let it merinate in your mind and make YOUR decision. and you’ll be fine brotha. just have to wait it out. i wish everyone good luck.
IT CAN HAPPEN. member that. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.
and another thing fellas…..
now when bday’s come up or annivesaries. whatever…. and you dont hear from her….. don’t let it get to you. yes you will feel sick, yes you might think she dosen’t care. but don’t ever say that to her. and honestly fella’s woman can HIDE their REAL feelings a lot better then us. no lie. its weird. SHE DOES care. if she loved you. she does care and always will.. just take a deep breath.. call up some friends go out. hang out an do your thing. eventually she will contact you and say what have you been up to…. but fella’s if your ex does a bitchy move?.. let her do what she wants. and show her that, that little bitchy stuff doesn’t fade you. show her you will be just fine WITHOUT her. and she will wonder why you don’t need her.
Good luck all the fella’s… member IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.
Hey Rupert,
I understand why you feel the way you feel and I know you are just venting, but let’s not forget we are just getting started at this and it’s too early to be giving up on her. Yes, my first advice is usually to move on, but that’s because I’ve learned from experience that most men don’t have what it takes to get done what needs to be done in order to get an ex girlfriend back. For most guys, it’s just an unnecessary agony they are putting themselves through, but if you decided to see it through, let’s get it done the right way and without regrets.
Recently, our site’s regular visitor for the past four months has left a message for all visitors to this site. His name is Emmanuel, read what he had to say about his journey to get his girlfriend back in the past eight months and you’ll see exactly what I’m trying to tell you, but coming from a man who was on the same boat as are all other men who frequent this site. I know it’s going to be a pain in the you know what to find all of Emmanuel’s post, but I suggest you read through them when get a chance.
I promise to have a forum up and running for this site by the end of this week and that will make it very easy for you guys to search past posts and even speak to one another if you choose to. Well anyways, you made up your mind to see this through till the end, so let’s make sure you get things done the right way. By the way, I’m glad you came here to vent instead of doing something stupid. Happy Fourth to you too buddy. Take care.
P.S. – Emmanuel’s posts are on the same page as yours.
Hey Jon,
Thanks for pitching in to help out Rupert. This is exactly why I think we need a forum for this site. I just think it’s going to be a good thing if you guys could speak to one another for support and encouragement. Anyways, thank you.
Hey Emmanuel,
Thanks for dropping by to let us know how you are doing. I’m glad things are going great between you and the woman you love. It’s too bad that more guys don’t come back and share the outcome of their attempt to win their girlfriends back, but you did and I’m sure many guys appreciate hearing from a man who has recently gone through what they are going through right now. Your thoughts on the issue are very much appreciated Emmanuel.
I’ll be setting up a forum soon for this site and it will be real nice if you could drop by time to time and talk to the guys. Would you mind if I emailed you the link for the forum once is up and running? There will be an “Ask the coach” section, member “General Lounge” section, “Getting her back” section, “Moving on” section, and more as per your (the user) suggestion. I would also like hear your suggestion, so let me know if you got any. Thanks buddy, hope to hear from you soon.
Coach,
Thanks to you and the guys for support. Like I said, I just needed to vent. I figured this would be the best place to vent, since the visitors are all going through or have gone through what I’m enduring right now.
Although I don’t have very high hopes, I still feel like I need to see this through. Even though I feel horrible, I’ll never break down and call her or steer away from the plan, so you don’t have to worry about that. I want to make sure I do this the right way. That way if it doesn’t work, I know I at least did everything I could.
Emmanuel’s story does give me hope, since even after eight months they were still able to reconcile. I hope it doesn’t take me that long, but at least I know it’s possible. And the forum idea sounds good as long as the “Ask Coach” section is still intact. We come here for your professional advice, so that’s the most important thing to me, but the other sections for support are good ideas too.
Like I said in my other post, I’m going to send the letter either Tuesday or Wednesday. Whenever I get a break from work. Hopefully it’ll do something, but I’m not getting my hopes too high. I’m trying to write it to where it leaves an impression on her for months, like you said. Hopefully it’ll stick in her head.
Thanks Coach and the rest of the guys,
Rupert
Me and my fiancé broke up about 3 months . We had been together 4 years, engaged and lived together for one year and 1/2. Things started getting weird in January and I told her I didn’t think I wanted to get married anymore but didn’t want to break up either. I didn’t know what I really wanted. She quit wearing her ring but we never broke up and continued to live together for another two months until she graduated from school. The end of March she went to her sisters house because things had gotten so bad we didn’t even speak anymore. She left her stuff at my house even so she was staying at her sisters. Throughout April we talked occasionally and it seemed just as a temporary separation more than anything. She kept asking if we were on a break and what our situation was. I never really had an answer as I didn’t know and enjoyed the time apart as a breather even though I was starting to miss her. I gave her some money to live on because her unemployment had run out, school was finished and she was having trouble finding a job. The weekend in May she came by my house and told me she was dating someone and she just wanted to be honest with me. I was in complete shock and let her leave without saying anything. I was furious,jealous, and hurt. I still had all her stuff at my house and she would not come and get it even though I told her many times too since she had a new bf I could no longer support her. I ended up moving her stuff by myself to her friends house because I couldnt even sleep in my own bed without being reminded of her. She called me the next day to get advice on her job interview that day and acted like everything was ok between us when she knew it wasn’t. After I moved her stuff I began the no contact phase. I did not call or text her and blocked her from Facebook. Her mail still comes to my house because she hasn’t changed it. I know she’s asked a friend about me recently about me blocking her from Facebook and she broke down crying to my mom a few weeks ago about how I wouldn’t talk to her anymore and that she didn’t think we could have worked out anymore. She kept asking to what i had been doing. I have answered a few texts with short answers from her but have not initiated anything. It’s been month now of no contact and I still miss her alot now. I can’t figure out if it’s jealousy or that I ready to fix things but the fact she jumped right back into another serious relationship so soon really hurts and angers me. We never even had an official closure or breakup. The line of communication is still open between us even though I am never the one to initiate it but I would really like to see her and talk to her again. I just think if she’s only two months into another relationship there is no chance right now of even trying to get her back. Any advice?
Hey Coach,
I went back and read Emmanuel’s posts and your advice to him. There were a few things that were similar to my story. My insecurity lead to the problems in my relationship because my girlfriend was beautiful and perfect. That was the same problem Emmanuel had. Emmanuel and his ex talked about marriage and having a family together, and that was the same as with my ex and me. So I can relate on those things. But there are alot that differs from my story. Emmanuel and his ex were able to talk after breaking up and even continued having sex. Other than the emails right after we broke up, I haven’t heard a word from my ex. Emmanuel’s ex was even talking to him while dating her new boyfriend, and mentioned things about their relationship. Once my ex started dating her new boyfriend, she hasn’t talked to me after one time. She said she wasn’t as into him as he is into her and that she isn’t sure if she’s ready for a relationship, but after everything I’ve seen the past couple of weeks I those were just lies. Emmanuel had an apartment, dogs, and bills with his ex and that kept communication going. I don’t have any of that other than memories, and it seems like my ex is getting rid of her memories of me.
I’m extremely happy for Emmanuel. I hope I can get to where he is in terms of getting back with my ex. I know there will never be two situations that are alike, and I guess that’s why I initially sent in my first message. Unfortunately, I’m starting to lose hope. There just hasn’t been any positive signs like most of the other guys have had.
Sorry to sound so depressed. I just feel pretty down about my chances. That doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I don’t think I can ever give up. But I’m just not getting my hopes very high. I’ve been trying to do everything I’m supposed to. I’ve taken up new hobbies, working two jobs, trying to get out more, started working out everyday, and I’ve definitely been working on myself. I haven’t contacted her at all in about a month and a half. Meanwhile she seems to be having a great time with her new boyfriend. Maybe I just had my hopes too high, but I just feel like there should’ve been at least one sign of hope by now.
I’ve written the letter out, and if you still think I should send it, I’m going to put it in the mail tomorrow.
Thanks,
Rupert
Just wanted to add: I do realize I’m supposed to be giving her space and that her not contacting me may be normal, but I thought I’d at least hear from her once. Especially since she was coming back from her study abroad and she knows I wanted to hear about it. When we were together, she even wanted me to go with her. She even offered to pay for my deposit. And this was only a month or two before she broke up with me, even though when she broke up she said she had been feeling down for a while. The math doesn’t add up to me sometimes. She said she had been feeling down for a while, but even right before we broke up she’d say “I have the best boyfriend ever!” of facebook and wanted me to go with her on her study abroad trip. I don’t know, I guess this was just another rant. Sorry guys!
Rupert
Hey Rupert,
It’s all good. It’s better to rant and let it all out rather than try to hold everything inside and become an emotional wreck. I’m actually glad you are venting here and I wish more guys would follow your example, instead of breaking down and calling their ex girlfriends for another chance.
I actually told you to read Emmanuel’s story so you would see how hopeless he had felt for months before turning things around, but I guess people see what they want to see and you only saw the positives out of his experience. Look, generally speaking, I do not think it’s healthy to continue trying to get an ex girlfriend back for more than half a year. In fact, I like to limit that time to about four and maximum five months, but Emmanuel’s story does show you that you can still turn things around even after making tons of mistakes and after a long time had passed since the break up.
Emmanuel’s situation did not look pretty at first because of the mistakes he had made, but he worked very hard to change himself for the better and eventually his ex girlfriend saw those changes in him. Doing the same things he did might not give you the same outcome, but Emmanuel’s story is a great example of how a hopeless situation got a fairy tale ending. You decided you were going to give one last try with your ex girlfriend, then you might as well get it done with the right attitude. Venting is good and I welcome it, but don’t let it get you down and try to use it as an outlet of your emotions.
Let’s see what kind of reaction you get from the letter you’ll soon be sending. Let’s give her some time to make the first move. By the way Rupert, we have a brand new forum up and running. I know it’s a bit of a hassle, but I’d appreciate it if would go to the forum and register and continue posting your questions to me in the “Ask Ex Back Coach” section of the forum. Use the same name “Rupert” as you ID so I know it’s you. Thanks. I’ll post the link to the forum below this reply (The link for the forum at the top left of the site as well).
One-on-one help has been moved to our brand new forum. Please register to receive one-on-one coaching. ==>Forum< ==
Hey Coach,
My girlfriend of 3 years and I broke up about 2 weeks ago. I want her back so bad I really love her we talked about marriage and everything. We have a long distance relationship with me being in Japan and her in California. She told me she was dating someone else and that she wasn’t lonely anymore that she was happy and this was the same week we broke up. Since we broke up for about a week we talked everyday, but since then I sent her an E-Mail telling her I was giving her her space. We haven’t talked in 3 days and I honestly don’t even know if she read the letter. I want her back what should I do?
Hi Scott,
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What a great website. I’m just about desperate to get my ex back. The story:
Im 32 and she’s 28. We both met at the post office, both letter carriers. I have a 6 yr old daughter from a previous marriage; she has a 9 year old boy from a high sch ex bf (she was prego at 16 and a high sch drop out, but she now has a GED and an associates degree – and has had an unbelievably hard life). But she also does an absolutely excellent job at hiding her past. It’s wasn’t until late into the relationship that I found things out – very horrible thngs. Basically she came from a horrible back ground; im talking about being raised by a drunk single mom, 6 brothers and sisters to care for, molestation/rape, beatings…..ect; you get the point – it’s disgusting. I came from an upper middle class family and had a wonderful childhood. I have a great job, Navy veteran and a degree in finance. We both have a lot going for us – financially
Well she broke up with me May 7, 2011 after 2.5 years. Many reasons factored into this, many i’m to blame for;
- her son – i can’t connect with this kid, and my ex saw that. The kid’s father has been in prison for the past 2 yr’s – for selling cocaine. And the dad has been in and out of the boy’s life for yr’s. The kid is 130 lbs and 5 ft tall and in the 3rd grade, he has no discipline, and he’s a giant bully – he even bullys my 6 yr old daughter that weighs 40 lbs. This kid is bad and a giant for his age. And his mom (my ex) can’t control him, even with physcial discipline, she’s just too small and it doesn’t faze this kid. I physically can’t bring myself to lay my hands on a kid; especially one that isn’t mine. My ex desperately wants a ‘normal life’. she is extremely beautiful/sexy, a huge christian and is at church every sunday, very low maintenance even though she make $55k at the post office; she still wear clothes from walmart and gives the rest of her money to her family and church. She’s very mature for a 28 year old and can careless about partying. He family realize on her for rides, money, favors…ect. She always does it for them too. She just had a sick childhood, she hates her job, she’s still in college, her kid is an absoute handful and she is stressed beyond belief.
I know you guys may think she sounds like a mess, but i promise i have no trouble getting women, but i want noone else but her. This girl is amazing in my eyes. She has a wonderful head on her shoulder despite all the bs she went thru. She is very loving when she is loved. This girl goes out of her way to give homeless people $20 bills.
May 7th she came to my apartment unexected (it was a saturday) and she has never just shown up. And she showed up crying – i already knew what was about to happen. She left me.
Her and i never communicated well. She is very quite to speak and constantly told me ‘quick to listen, slow to talk’ as her passed grandma would say.
i persnally have never let go of my ‘patying stage’ I lke beer, sports, cards and bars with my buddies, maybe once or twice a month i would go out on a saturday nite w/o her – and that bothered her. She wanted a marriage and a father figure for her kid. She’s a country girl here in Ohio, our cost of living is cheap, i’m a federal employee now with the Navy. Her and I toether make excellent income for an Ohio couple, we could have had a wonderful life together. She just wanted a small house in the country, a father figure to her son, and someone to love her –
Jan thru April 2011 – things got ruff; i think it was more my fault, i got kind of bored, maybe even a little stressed from her kid and the drama of her family. The sex went from 4 or 5 times a week to maybe once. I knew there was a problem, and she knew I wasn’t ready for the marriage commitment yet – i need to grow up as well.
Now nearly 3 months later – i’m miserable, i want her back unbelievably bad. I can’t get over this girl. I’ve been thru this 100x’s before (even an ex marriage) but NONE of them have ever been this hard or compared to this girl. There is something about this girl. I would marry her right now and see my friend occasionally instead of monthly. I always loved her, but all the other things that are apart of her life pushed me away. I now realize that I would handle it all differently if I could only have one more chance. I’d help her with all these problems and get her thru them.
She has been dating a new guy for about 2.5 months now. I recently found out about this, I’ve been having little to no contact with her for the past 2.5 months, but last wednesday I had a couple drinks and cursed her out really bad on the phone. I fucked up so bad. Is there any hope?
Thursday she did send me an ’831′ on text – 8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning
I need this girl! I can’t do nothing w/o her in mind. I can’t go an hour w/o thinking about her.
Thx for reading; heart broken dude here
You guys are great and I needed some help here too. Me and my kids mom meet when I was 18 and she was 17. It was love at first sight. September 23,2006 was the day we was officially a couple. October 19,2007 was the day we had our first little girl. Everything was wonderful to that point of time
October. 31, 2009 was the day she had my 2nd daughter and we were a happy family. Well in 2010 things kinda got shaky a lil bit it was still worth to work out. We botb got laid off, no income was coming in and it got rough of us two. By the end of 2010 we got some income and by that time, I got to comfortable of the relationship.
I wasng spending as much time with her. Wasn’t eating dinner with the family. I just got to comfortable. Then 2011 was very hard on us. In april 2011 a couple days after my birthday, she wanted to go on break. By that time I was scared amd was trying to figure out what can fix us.
During the break I was too needy and desperate and she said I pushed her away. 2 weeks after we broke up, she got with her bestfriends, kids dad and fell for him very quickly after our 5 yrs together and 2 daughters. Its been very tough on my hand but I’m waiting patiently. I miss her and want her back.
I currently have a new gf and we make arrangements about the kids. But my kids mom hides her feelings. She asked for pics of me n her and family pics of all four of us. But didn’t tell me why she wanted them. We broken up via text message. She still denies to talk face to face to break up and she wont pack the rest of my stuff at her house.
Any help on what should I do to win her back? Her new bf has a bad history cause we both know how he was to her old bestfriend. Beat her, used her and has a felony. What should be my best bet, and do I ever has a chance with her again? She can’t just move on that quick after 5 years.
hey i just finished reading a lot of what was said and i was wondering if i could get some advice or help?
hey there datingcoach. My girlfriend of eleven months left me around a month ago, and she began seeing another guy almost immediately after that. I really love her and want her back. We’ve been in casual contact over the past week, because I finally realized that begging and trying to persuade her back wasn’t gonna work. She asked me if she still could be friends with me and still wants to work with me, telling me that “we work fantastic together”.
She’s also quickly becoming really physical with the new guy from what I’ve heard, she got drunk together with him and slept with him. She was scared then and thought she was pregnant and she texted me and asked me to confront her new boy. Which I did, and I told her to tell me if she needed anything. Later I discovered that she told him that she was “damn impressed” by me. She also hinted to her new boy that she wanted him to do some of the sweet little things I did for her in our past r/s, but he argued that not every rs has to be the same. (those little things are the little ones that really attracted her to me, though)…and I admit being a bit of a stalker.
I’ve recently been in NC with her and waiting for a while before replying to texts. Is there any way to win her back? Fast or not, cos I’m not in a rush to get into another relationship with another girl. Just want her back cos she was the love of my life.
Hi Coach, it’s me again (from http://howtoget-mygirlfriendback.com/get-girlfriend-back/my-ex-girlfriend-has-a-new-boyfriend/comment-page-8/#comments)!
So after my last post, I gchatted up the ex a few times, she sounded nice, polite and distant. Once I was stupid enough to send her an email telling her how I was having trouble finding closure and how I wish for a second chance. She wrote back saying she thinks we’re never going to work out and that she thinks “our time has most definitely past”, but she suggests maybe we have a talk once she gets back in September, and that I’m welcome to talk to her about other stuff in the mean time. Around the same time I also heard from a mutual friend that she was saying how she’s over me then.
All those made me feel very foolish, so I made a point to not contact her again until the end of the summer at least. I deleted her number from my phone, made sure she doesn’t show up in gchat or my fb news feed, etc. The good thing is that I’ve been able to keep that promise to myself (she hasn’t contacted me at all either) and occupying myself with work, dance, and all kinds of activities. I’ve also hung out with some new girls a few times, but every time I get disappointed that I don’t feel the same way toward them and start thinking back to C again.
Around last week, I start checking up on her again on facebook and such, after attending a friend’s wedding made me think about her again. Also, around the same time another mutual friend tells me that she inquired about the wedding. In the same conversation, she seemed to imply that she might be single as she tells him “if you find a nice guy, let me know”, but didn’t elaborate on it too much. I asked if she’s mentioned me at all, my friend says no and that she says she’s completely over me and doesn’t think we’ll work out.
So here lies my confusion…do you think my ex is instead completely over me, as her tone seems to be a lot more concrete? And if she’s actually single now, do I have a chance with her? I understand that “not going to work out” is different from having feelings for someone, how do I find out if the latter is true in this case? I feel like I have changed and grown since we broke up and can handle a lot of things a lot better than before. So if it’s still possible, I would like to give us another try.
Also, when school starts, I’ll be living off campus, and we’ll no longer be able to causally run into each other, so every meeting will have to be arranged.
Please help me device a game plan? I was thinking just meeting up with her once she gets back and not even talk about the relationship and just have a good time, while gauging her interest level?
At the mean time, should I keep my no contact until the end of the summer, or should I try to probe for her situation?
Thank you so much Coach!
Hey Couch,
like most of the stories on here mine is very long but i will try to sum it up as best as i can. My ex and I dated for 2 and a half years and the first year was fantastic after that we argued too much and I had trouble controlling my anger problem i would constantly get on her case about everything but we still seemed to pull through. After a rocky couple of months we break up for good and she said she doesnt feel the same anymore. I know this is directly because of the arguing and jealousy. I ask her to be friends and she agreed but didnt want anything more. She was very short with me and said she wasnt ready to spend time together so i just sent her a facebook message saying im sorry for the way i acted and the breakup is for the best. I stopped contacting her completely and around a week later she texts me asking what i was up to and we had a nice little conversation and i became hopeful that we just need some time apart. I text her again today and we had another fun little convo but when i got home i found out tht she has been going to parties with some guy. Sadly the last text i sent her said i gotta go let me know if u wanna hang out some time leaving me completely there for her on the sidelines. I am completely in love with her and i know for a while she was completely in love with me im destroying my anger problem once and for all with counseling and relaxation therapy but i want her back and am willing to do anything to show her ive finally changed and im going to be the boyfriend she deserves i just need to know where to start
thanks coach,
josh
lol coach**
Hello,
I just saw your article and it kinda calmed me down. I miss my ex-gf. We were together for 1 and a half years but everything came crashing down because I had to enlist into national service, coz she thought we were incompatible, and coz i screwed up a couple of times. After she first dumped me, I was heart-broken but I didnt give up trying to win her heart back and we did patch back together. However it did not last. Since the start of this year, another guy came into her life. He flirted with her a lot and they started talking a lot and as much as I hurt knowing all this, I didnt do anything coz I had no right in telling her to stop talking to him. Yeah pretty soon, they started meeting and got very close. This was a very difficult time for me as my dad had just been admitted to a mental hospital – My dad always had the worst form of sciziophrenia and she knew about it. So, as you can possibly imagine, it was a hugely emotional time. Also to make matters worse, I went to meet her one day, completely out of the blue, to congratulate her on doing well for her exams after she just told me. I came there only with the intention of making her smile with a hand-written letter and flowers but as I approached her house, i saw them – the new guy and her, making out. They werent together! Wow, I dont know how to describe how absolutely excruciating and upsetting the whole sight was. Before I knew it, I had tears rolling down my cheeks and i just stood there frozen to the gr0und. They saw me, she was completely appalled. I dont know if this was the right thing, but I had no control on what i did next. He came up to me and tried to act nice and I, with all my untested strength gave him the strongest right hook to his jaw. All she said was that she liked him and that she’s so sorry. I looked at her once and i know she could see the pain in my eyes. I left. Seeing them kiss really messed me up. I cut no contact for some time but she kept calling me to apologise. However, as I had to deal with my dad’s condition, I became completely messed up in the head. I did everything you warned not to do in your video. After a few weeks,I begged her to come back, tried hard as hell to tell her not to go on with that guy, even lied to get her sympathy. I called her several several times. I basically appeared as a psycho to her.. I mean now shes with that guy. They ve been together for 4 months and as much as you say that it is a rebound, I cannot help but see that it looks like they re in love and that they will never break up. Before the day she got together with him, she was surprsingly very open and told me that she still had feelings for me. albeit it not being the same way but she wanted to give him a chance and not hurt his feelings as he had already asked her and was waiting for an answer. I kept my cool, even though i was in despair and disarray inside, and told her I d always love her, no matter what decision she chooses and that I just want her to be happy. Well…. it seems that they re way in love now. Its very very sad. She was the most beautiful thing that happened to me but she changed. However, I truly fell for her and the only thing I can wish for now, is to win her heart back. It just really really sucks that shes gonna remember me as a ‘psycho’ or a ‘liar’ coz of how i reacted upon them getting together. Im sure you can reason with me in the sense that I reacted so unattractively coz I was not in my senses. Granted, what I did was unbecoming of me, but seeing them make out, seeing a photo album of them on fb and having to deal with my dad and all the various conversations she had with me telling me how her bf was better than me, kind of was too much for me to take; for anyone to take. I made the biggest mistake. I never gave up since she first dumped me till even after they got together. I should have dropped off the face of the earth a long time ago but I didnt. I was silly for not doing so, for continuing to try and hopelessly fail and push her further away. All i know is, from watching them make out that very very unfortunate day till now, I have suffered the worst of pain, yet I can still love her with all the broken pieces of my heart. She”ll never realize how much I had to go through, coz I genuinely love her. At least god knows right. The last time i communicated with her was through the form of a letter and her birthday present that I left outside her door. In it i wrote, ‘ Im sorry I lied and hurt you. I never meant to. I only want to see you happy but seeing you with him, tore me down. You ll never understand what I had to go through. I hope you like your birthday present, I only want you to be happy. As much as it hurts, I wish you all the best with your current bf. When i was with you, you made my life into the most beautiful dream, but now its like everyday I’m living is a nightmare. I love you and I ll miss you. I already do. I can only dream of the day you say i love you to me and mean it. goodbye.’
I cut contact, and left for a family holiday the next day. When i came back , i got a call from her, I stupidly answered, thinking she would be nice and ask me how i have been, but she took the chance to insult me and put me further down, commenting on the photos I took with my cousin sisters that she mistook for other girls. She told me to never associate her as my ex and that I m the biggest mistake of her life and that she’s lucky to have met me only so she could appreciate her new bf. Well yeah, as hurtful as she was, I had never insulted her before so i just kept quiet and cut the call. Its been around 3 and a half weeks now. She called me once 2 weeks ago but I didnt answer. I ve been better but I still get nightmares of them kissing sometimes. I dont know what to do now. How long should i keep the no contact rule for? I wonder if she even misses me, now that shes probably sleeping with bf since they started off so physical. Please help me.
Thank you
(Sorry for my very long comment)
Hey.
So its been two days after our breakup, we were together for 7 months and i am still in love with her. And i know she is still in love with me after we spent time discussing the situation and she admitted it. I didnt pry her or yell at her for reasons why she ended it. All i did was listen and talk when a question was directed at me. It hurt though not to being able to tell her really how i felt about it. She is with a new guy who she likes but she is still in love with me. She said she doesnt want to lose me from her life,that i cant abandoned her. I wont, as i told her. But then i said “but for now i need time. The girl broke my heart but i know that my issues were what pushed her away.mainly just my anger issues. I dont know if i made a mistake but i told her “i still want to marry you” i thought she would respond but then she said ” i want to marry you to” what does that mean? Shes with this bloke now but i think its not going to turn into anything big but im leaving in two days to army rangers boot, and im thinking if this will make her miss me. She doesnt know im going yet but i was planning on writting her a letter a week after i finish training. That leaves
Time that i think will make her miss me before i send it. So do i still have a shot with her? I love her so much and cant livr without her. To me it seems like i have a shot to fix my mistakes that lead to her breaking up with me. Do i or is it a lost cause? Shes the world to me still and i dont want to lose her. I havent contacted her since yesterday when she wanted to talk.
Hi Coach. Sorry about the length of this letter, but I’ve seen you mention many times that you didn’t have enough information to make an accurate assessment. I’m not sure if you’re still giving out advice but if you are, I could certainly use some! I was with my girlfriend for about 2 years. During that time we had an extremely hot/cold relationship. Very passionate in some ways, yet a lot of arguing at times. To be honest she kind of had anger problems, so she would just wake up in a bad mood at times. This was quite frequent, to the point where her co-workers were calling her names like grumpy smurf and things like that. She truly had anger issues. Nevertheless, I still loved her and we tried to make it work. Eventually due to us not getting along, she started seeing someone else. I of course broke up with her. This was about 2 years ago. The break up honestly was both of our fault. She had anger issues, but my reaction to those issues was just as poor. I would blow up on her sometimes for being in a bad mood. When I say “blow up” I mean, I would say things like, “Damn, there you go again! What the hell is wrong with you.” Thiings like that. Honestly, the only reason she cheated on my first is because she was able to find someone sooner than I could. lol. Anyway, a month or so after our break up, I tried talking with her about getting back together. She was sort if interested but was already seeing this other guy, was enjoying that situation and was worried about a repeat of our past drama, or which there was much. This was just 1 conversation, after which I never spoke to her again. 1-2 months after our break up I started receiving calls that I considered to be unnecessary. We had a loan in both of our names, so she would call me and ask if I had made a payment. I always made the payments, so to call each month I felt was unnecessary. Also, I told her to consider me dead and that I did not want to speak to her, and to simply e-mail or text me if she needed to discuss business. For the fisr 4 months or so she insisited on calling anyway. I would always let the call go to voice mail, and then address whatever probelem she mentioned. After about 5 months she started only emailing or texting, no voice calls. About every months and a half she would e-mail or text concerning something that was rather unnecessary, or something she couldn’ve just handled herself. However, because she would call about things that are technically business, I would be unsure as to the true motive. This has gone on almost the entire time we’ve been broken up, even during this period of her dating someone else. About 4 months ago, I started receiving messages that were unmistakeably non-business. She sent me a text informing me that Osama Bin Laden had been captured. About a month and a half later, she calls me at 11:30pm to discuss the loan. Once we discussed the issue, I could tell she didn’t want to get off the phone. I said my goodbyes and hung up. a week later she e-mailed me about ‘business’, but was something she could’ve clearly handled herself. That e-mail was about a month ago now. At that point I told her to call me. She waited till the next day to call and I just straight up asked her whey she has persisted in calling me all the time about matters that were rather unnecessary. She at first stated the I was reading more into her calls and thatit was just about business. I refused to accept that answer, so I questioned her again. She then stated, “I don’t know why two people who were as close as we were can’t still speak to one another!” I asked her what she wanted from me. she said, “Look, I’m not trying to get back in a relationship with you. It was too much drama. I just can’t understand why we can’t talk.” She went into how she has found Jesus and all of that, and how she has been working on making her life better, and wasn’t the little “sex pot” I remember. I then told her that I could never see her as just a friend and if she wasn’t interested in more, she should leave me alone. She said, “It’s like that? Ok, fine, I’l leave you alone.” I then told her that I did still miss her. She stated, ” think about us too, but then I think about the bad times and it bring me right back to reality. She then told me how she was single, yet does have a ‘friend’, and that she’s enjoying single life, just her and her son. I didn’t really respond to that. I then said, “Look, what are you doing on the 8th? She said she wasn’t sure. I then told her that she was having coffee with me on the 8th. (It was about 2 weeks before the 8th when this conversation took place) She agreed and we hung up the phone. I told her to call me in a few days, but because she has a tendency to act irritated by phone calls, (She’s just not a phone person) that I didn’t not want to go thru that, since I remember how much that used to irritate me. She said “Ok.” About 3 days later she called me like clockwork, but when I answered her voice and attitude was rather dry. Granted it was about 9:30pm. I asked her what the problem was. She stated, “Well, I’m kinda tired but I figured I’d better call so you don’t complain that I flaked on you.” I’m sorry, but thatpissed me off! I told her that if she doesn’t want to call, then just don’t, but don’t make me feel bad about you calling! That caused an argument and she hung the phone up. I tried to text her 3-4 times to get her to pick back up but she didn’t. This irritated me greatly, since it felt as if the shoe was back on her foot, and I was back to begging her to call me. Someone that has been bugging to talk to me for 2 years! Anyway, I waited a week and e-mailed her and told her I was sorry for how things went that night. She acted really stubborn, with one word answers, such as, “don’t worry, it’s forgiven” I then said, “That doesn’t sound too much like forgiveness to me” She said, “Well, you can’t expect us to become BFF’s in one day.” I made a joke about that, and didn’t send anymore contact. The next day I e-maild and said, “Hey, keep me penciled in for the 8th” She said, “OK” and we didn’t have anymore contact. this was about the 2nd. On the 8th we met up at a coffee shop. She looked the same (good) and I was dressed my best. We both shook hands and she had that sort of nervous, awkward smile. (That was expected) We ordered our coffee’s and just sat there looking at each other. Actually, she kept obviously staring at me the whole time. Anyway, I started the conversation by saying…”Look, like you I have thought about us. I’ll think about the good times, then I’ll think of the bad and it brings me back into reality. However, when I think about reality, I realize that our life wasn’t reality. We got into partying too much, drinking too much, too much arguing, etc. That wasn’t me and I don’t think that was you.” She agreed. I then said, “There’s no way I can take away the bad. The only thing I can do is thin it out with good. I would like to thin out the bad with good, by replacing someone of those bad memories with good ones, one date, one outing, one meeting at a time. How do you feel about that?” She smiled and stated, “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” I then said, “I would like us to take the time to get to know each other. Not to rush into anything but re-learn each other, so that when ever we do reflect on a future together, it can be made with positive input, instead of just all the drama we created.” She stated, “I would like that.” Obviously there was more conversation but the gist was that I told her I wanted to slowly try again, and she agreed. She kept staring at me, which made me wonder if she found me less attractive than she had in the past. I finally asked what she kept staring and she said, “This is just the man that made me like him.” refering to our enjoyable conversation and interaction. We then agreed to spend time together at the beach within the next 3 weeks or so. (Keep in mind I no longer live in her same city.) I then told her that I was going to let her get on with her afternoon and that I was about to leave. She stated, “You’re trying to get rid of me, I see.” I didn’t say yes or no to that. I then walked her to her car, where she said, “Instead of a hand shake, can I get a hug?” I hugged her, kissed her cheek and started walking away. She then said, “So, is it going to be another yeal and a half before I see you again?” I said, “I don’t think so” She said, “You don’t think so, huh?” Smiling as she said it. Honestly, I didn’t say anything more about that. Mostly because I thought it was a strange questions, since we had already agreed to spend time together in the coming weeks. Anyway, I drove away.
Here’s my delimma, about 4 days later I text her and told her it was nice spending to see her. She said it was nice seeing me too and that it was nice having a conversation without arguing. I agreed and told her to look at her schedule and pick 1 of the 4 upcoming saturdays on which she isn’t busy, and that would be the day we’d go on our next date. She stated, “Ok, let me get back to you on that.” That was about a day ago. Since then, no call, text or e-mail. Also, I was a little disappointed at the fact that 4 days after our coffee shop date, she didn’t call, text or e-mail and I had to make the first move! I don’t want to get back into a position where I’m the one doing all the calling and texting. Also, I’d like to know why, if she’s considering possibly getting abck with me, why she doesn’t feel the desire to call me, after 4 days from our last date? Also, why, if she’s into me, didn’t she rush to figure out which saturday she’s have free so we could hang out? This hot and cold is killing me! I don’t want to give up any power and make myself look as if I’m a love sick puppy, since we all know that will just cause her to lose respect for me. On the other hand, I want to let her know that her lack of calling and communication is offensive to me and makes me feel as if she’s disinterested. Lastly, I’m not sure if I should contact her anymore concerning our upcoming date, since she already had said she’d get back to me. Seems to me any further mention on the date will make me look needy and desperate! Can you please help me?!?
please help me. I just found out last week my ex of 7 years was seeing the guy that she left me for 5 years ago. She dated him 3 times within 6 months of 2006 and mid february of 2007. She left me on a summer 5 years ago for him and we ended up cheating on him the whole month they were going out. That was all of July. Then he left my ex and I find out a month later they were seeing each other again. Well I tell my ex this time why she played on both of us again and that I was done with her so she leaves the guy ONCE again to be with me. We were so happy until New Years I confessed I cheated on her first only once and she go so mad she kicked me out her dorm and ONCE again she looked for the guy and they start dating again from january of 2007, all the way to Valentines day.
so they only lasted a month and a half but ONCE again during that time they were bf/gf, me and her were still seeing each other until she finally let him go cuz she ONCE again realized she wanted to be with me. Well after that the guy called me and told me he thought my ex was a monster n that he was really hurt she played with him 3 times and he told me that for people like her, love doesn’t exist and that I was the stupidest guy for keeping her after what she did with both of us. The only difference is, I knew about him and he thought my ex was DONE with me everytime but it wasn’t like that.
well from 2007 all the way to know we arguedddddddd so much but for some reason we were always there next to each other. I got her a cellphone under my plan 3 years ago so I was paying for her phone and since she is poor, I also let her take my car to her school and bougt her everything. I’m not rich, but I really gave it all out for her and she was always there with me so I didn’t mind and saw her as more than a GF to me. Well I have treated her really bad before and still was with my jealousy that it would get really bad. I was too jealous of her cuz she is gorgeous and she’s popular and guys always want her so I was way too over protective but I was not healthy about it. I took her for granted all these years :’(
Well after so many fights and arguments she was still by my side. I always bought her food, and let her borow my car for school and paid of her phone, always and pretty much she was 100% Dependent on me. I guess I felt I had a lot of control over her so I stopped being romantic. I just gave her all presents but was never sweet about it. Well I just found the guy we cheated on 3 times before is seeing her again.
it seems like for 2 months they accidentally bumped into each other n they took it from there but she never told me she was getting to know him, AGAIN!!!! After 5 years, they accidentally meet, wow. Him again. She’s had handsome well dependent guys after her the whole time and she always rejected them for me and here is this JOKE again trying to win her heart. I texted the guy last weekend and got really furious and even threaten him to kick his ass and I even confronted my EX about it and all she said was that she really LIKES him and wants 2b with him. Wowowow. He really took her back after what SHE did to him?!?!? Well surprisingly they both put a restraining order on me 9 days ago and my ex told me to get away from her and leave her alone and that I could cancel her line n that it was best to let her go forever now.
I was really shocked she put a restraining order on me as well as her new BF. So just 5 days ago(3 days after she left me) she called me from the cellphone I was paying for and she said she wants me to change and date another girl and that she wants to be happy with that SAME guy again and that this time she wasn’t going to HURT him and that he forced her to go to the police station. Well I tell her I LOVE her and said sorry for taking you for granted. I told her I was gonna change and be who I was before with her but my ex said no more and that she only wanted to see me as a friend and no more in the future. She told me to BLOCK her line??? Instead of cancel?? I don’t know why but she said that she wanted to know him this time and that in order for that to happen was if I wasn’t in the PICTURE anymore for now.
she did tell me that she will never see me as more than a friend in her life no matter how much I want her back or prove the change. She just told me to date for now and to get better with my temper and jealousy. I had bought a pair of tickets to a concert schedule for DECEMBER 11_ 2011 and I told her if I should throw the tickets away n she said I DON’t know, that maybe she could go but she wasn’t sure as of now n to give her time and that it was a possibility for us to go in more than a month to the concert that we both badly wanted to go to. But she didn’t promise me anything cuz she said her BF wants to trust her now and that he really wanst someting serious with her. I’m 26. She’s 25 and her bf is 23. She told me she only wanst friends in me bit that for now it’s best to HEAL by not talking and that she was gonna look for me and wanted to see a changed man in me. Why???? How can that guy ever be happy with her after what she did to him? Is he just a rebound again? I was just surprised she said to BLOK her line for now but not CANCEL it..why? In case it doesn’t work out with her new bf? So after the call, I blocked her cellphone from being used so I did not cancel the line yet.
it’s killing me inside that she’s with him now n there’s nothing I can do about this time since she needs SPACE so that he can TRUST her now. I’m just too hopeful she will look for me for the day of the concert so it’s hurting me. I’m still surprised her and that guy are together again. I don’t really know why the guy took her serious. Well it’s been 5 days without contacting her. I’m being a man of my word now. So if by DECEMBER 11 she doesn’t contact me, I’m cancelling her line n I’m gonna move on with my life. I would love for her to contact me and to drive her BF crazy again if I pretend to be her friend. Will I hurt myself? Will he get PARANOID? I don’t really know what I want anymore. I’m just hurt and still SHOCKED. What do I do? It’s been 5 days and yes I’ve cried so much cuz now I know what I had n I regret taking her for granted :’(
should I date other girls? Go to ounseling so she sees the change? She’s prob not gonna look for me anymore. During this time I’m not talking to her she’s gonna fall in love with that guy and she will already be done with me. I’m really scared :’( what do you guys think? Let her go forever? She was my best friend, my 1st, my soulmate so yeah, it hurts to be lonely right now and to think that he is being intimate with her instead of me. Please tell me ur thoughts. If she doesn’t call by the day of concert should I give up for when she really contacts me?